Gundam Wing Evil 2: Terror in Lemur City
by Nuki Yin
Summary: Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei take on Prof. Trieze and his horde of Zombies, Mutants, and Relena!!! *AAAAAck!!!*
1. Terror in Lemur City

**  
****Gundam Wing Evil 2: TERROR in ****Lemur****City****  
  
****Fanfic by Nuki_Yin  
  
Characters by ****SUNRISE****  
  
Inspired by Resident Evil 2 by CAPCOM  
  
(I OWN NOTHING IN THIS STORY!!!)  
**  
  
  
Duo Maxwell, stepped out of his black Jeep parked in the middle of the  
empty street. He cautiously walked up to the strange lump of clothing  
on the asphalt...  
  
  
It was his first night on the job. He was sent out to patrol the urban  
area while the veteran cops tended to more important business uptown.  
It seemed serious, seeing how many officers had left the Lemur City  
Police Station in such a rush. They also hogged most of the police  
cars and vans. He was stuck having to take his own vehicle out for  
patrol duty. _What kind of shit_ ....?!?!  
  
  
_Oh well, nothing to do with me._ The long haired rookie cop thought to  
himself. _If they're paying me to do kiddie stuff, I'll do kiddie  
stuff._  
  
  
That was another thing. His hair, his 3 foot long French braided hair  
HAD to be cut. He's ALWAYS wanted to be a cop---but at the cost of his  
HAIR?!?!? What was he thinking? He might have to reconsider EVERYTHING  
for the sake of his.... good luck charm.  
  
  
At least for now he gets to look pimpy with his black L.P.D. uniform.  
They had just changed the uniforms' colors to black and gray. Even the  
protective gear he donned was jet black. He looked like some comic  
book hero.  
  
_I'll just say it's a part of MY religion._ Duo concluded on the  
afterthoughts of his hair_. I am SO bright!_  
  
  
Duo was now close enough to the lump of clothing to realize that it  
wasn't just clothes lying on the ground. "A body?" Duo uttered to  
himself. "Looky we have here? Homicide!" he released a slight grin  
and spoke, "I am the God of Death, once more! I get to take on a  
homicide."  
  
  
He cleared his throat trying to sound more professional and strolled  
back to his jeep. "I guess I'll call for back up."  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

  
Just a few blocks, on the other side...  
  
  
Trowa Barton parked his Harley Davison alongside the front of a diner.  
  
  
He was garbed in solid black jeans, matching v-neck tee, partially  
covered by a red leather, sleeveless jacket. The backside embroidery  
featured a guardian angel sitting upon a massive pile of missiles  
(each representing the number of `kills' Trowa' made---BY FIVE!!!).  
The title at the bottom of design was metal lettering saying:  
HeavyArms.  
  
  
(AUTHOR'S NOTE: You didn't REALLY think I'd have my favorite Gundam  
pilot wear Claire's outfit?!?! Did you? For shame!)  
  
  
This was NOT the usual garbing of a `normal' college student from out  
of town....  
  
Trowa removed his helmet, allowing the `Unibang' to spring  
forward--covering one eye. He placed the helmet along the handlebars  
and stepped upon the sidewalk.  
  
  
"..." he spoke to himself.  
  
  
The diner caught his attention. He hadn't eaten since his 2 hour ride  
to Lemur City from the college. Trowa headed there.  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@

  
"Did you hear a word I fucking said, sir?!" Duo yelled at the strange  
ill-looking man staggering towards him. "DON'T MAKE ME SHOOT...."  
  
  
The man was foaming at the mouth and groaning. Hands extended,  
reaching for the rookie cop.  
  
  
Suddenly someone grabbed Duo's leg. He turned, aimed, and fired. His  
violet eyes nearly bugged out when he realized that the NOW dead  
person who grabbed his leg was the same person that was `dead' on the  
road. Before he could make sense of the situation, he turned around  
and noticed the groaning man was closer and there were NOW several  
more creepy looking people surrounding him and the Jeep.  
  
  
"Oh shit..." Duo exclaimed as he jumped over the re-dead body and ran  
down the street.  
  
@@@@@@@  
"Sir..." Trowa spoke to the man behind the counter. He felt odd doing  
this being that the guy was on the floor eating something. "...excuse  
me, sir. Are you alright---"  
  
  
"uUUUUUgh!" The grotesque man turned around and sounded through his  
freshly bloodied mouth. He had another guy in his hands, judging form  
the way the other guy was missing an eye---this BASTARD was eating  
him.  
  
  
"Oh... uhm... shit!" Trowa exclaimed as he stumbled back.  
  
  
The `cannibal' unexpectedly got up and started towards Trowa. He  
wanted to snack on him as well. Trowa didn't see this as happening as  
he started slinging chairs and tables in the zombies path. Suddenly he  
found himself pressed against the dinner window.  
  
  
"Huh?!" he peered through the blinds and noticed that there  
were a dozen crazy, HUNGRY-looking people staring at him groaning and  
even howling at him. "Egad! The hell is up with this city!?" Trowa  
yelled.  
  
  
As soon as he turned around the `diner' creep was in his face about to  
bite him. Trowa almost released a gasp before knocking the ghoulish  
man back a few feet and kicking him in the head. Trowa then flipped  
over the scattered tables to make an escape through the rear exit....  
  
@@@@@@  
Duo was now blocks away from his Jeep, firing at the countless number  
of crazy civilians tottering towards him. "That was a clean shot in  
the heart--NO fair!!!" Duo complained as yet ANOTHER piercing bullet  
made NO effect to the crazed one of many. "I'm running out of ammo  
here...fuck!"  
  
  
Duo then broke through the crowd and ran down an alley leading to the  
other side. When he ran towards first door in the alley, it swung open.  
Duo aim---  
  
  
"Don't shoot!" Trowa yelled as he took cover to the floor.  
  
Realizing that he was possibly `normal', Duo changed aim and fired at  
the creepy, bloody guy going after him from behind. The creature  
actually seemed to have taken the hit!  
  
  
"Head shots! Got it!" Duo smirked.  
  
  
The other crazed people seemed to have taken notice as well as they  
suddenly slowed their role and backed up off of the two normal people.  
  
"Hey, buddy! Let's get out here!" Duo spoke to the civilian, extending  
his hand.  
  
  
"...O-kay." Trowa replied to the black-clad stranger, taking his hand.  
  
  
The two hauled ass down the alley and found themselves in front of an  
abandoned police car. Duo turned around and realized that the civilian  
was REALLY tall---staring at the red jacket's front pocket.  
  
  
"Gawd, you're tall." He commented. He suddenly slid across the car's  
hood and opened the door. "The keys are still in---Let's go!"  
  
  
"I'm not tall---you're just short...." He mumbled to himself. _6'4.5"  
is a __NORMAL__ height for a 19 year old. He argued in his head. "Okay..."  
he complied with the stranger's order and slipped into the car through  
the window.  
   
Duo started the car, within seconds, the car was roaring down the  
street at a phenomenal speed. "Buckle up." He smiled, gripping the  
steering wheel tightly.  
  
  
"O...okay." Trowa uttered desperately. The force of the speeding car  
was crushing him into the seat cushion.  
  
  
A few minutes later and after Duo PURPOSELY sideswiped a traipsing  
zombie near the road, the two strangers decided to have a bit of small  
talk...  
  
  
"You're a cop, right?" Trowa asked  
  
  
"Well...D-UH!" Duo made a face and laughed. "The name's Duo Maxwell.  
First day on the job--SPAZ-tastic, aye?"  
  
  
The `college student', feeling the wave of nausea go down, responded  
with a nod. "I'm from out of town. I don't really have a name, but if  
you must call me something--you can call me Trowa Barton."  
  
  
Duo glanced at Trowa oddly and spoke, "What's your business here? This  
place seems awful boring for a college kid like yourself." He soon  
added, "Well, at least until this town was taken over by zombies at  
least..."  
  
  
Trowa frowned at the fact that this braided hippie was older than  
him--old enough to figure out he was a student AND he seemed out of  
place here. "You're right about that. I'm just here to meet with my  
brother. He's on the police force here." _We were supposed to get ready  
for a mission---but it seems as though things are going to be a bit  
altered... Damn_. He thought to himself.  
  
  
"Don't worry, fella. We'll be there in no time flat." Duo assured  
Trowa as he added more speed to his driving.  
  
  
The increased velocity of the car was making Trowa REALLY nervous.  
"uh-huh..."  
  
  
Open up the glove compartment, will ya?!"  
  
  
Trowa opened the compartment and took out a small handgun. "This'll  
do..."  
  
  
"Better take it with you. Who knows what else is lurking around-----"  
  
  
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORAH!!!" howled a cop zombie from the back seat. He  
grabbed at Duo's arm.  
  
  
"EYAGH!!!! The fuck!!!!" Duo yelled. He elbowed the ghoul in the face  
and swerved the car ALL OVER the place. "Oh shit! Oh shit!"  
  
  
The zombie grabbed at Trowa's hair. Enraged, Trowa socked the creep in the eye and  
pushed it into the backseat cushions. He turned back around to grabbed  
control of the steering wheel, seeing that Duo couldn't do it that  
well in the first place. "Give me the wheel!!!"  
  
  
"Dude! You have a license?!" Duo argued trying to retain dominance  
over the wheel.  
  
  
"YES, I DO!!! Give me the BLOODY steering---" He looked ahead and saw  
that they were spinning into a light pole. "...!!!"  
  
  
CRASH!!!  
  
  
The front of the car hit the pole SO hard that the zombie went  
flying through the windshield. A loud crack was heard as his head hit  
the pole.  
  
  
Duo and Trowa shook the stars out of their heads and started to climb  
out of the totaled car.  
  
"Are you alright, Trowa?" he asked.  
  
  
"..." Trowa replied, giving Duo an evil glare. "SOMEHOW this is YOUR,  
Officer Maxwell."  
  
  
"Yeah, yeah, kiss my ass---"  
  
  
HONK! HONK!!! Sounded a large cargo truck--it was zooming right  
towards them.  
  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!" They both yelled looking through the rear view window.  
  
  
"That dork's gonna ram us!" Duo exclaimed trying to release his safety  
belt.  
  
  
"Well... D-UH!" Trowa grumbled as he crawled out of the car through  
the window.  
  
  
It's a good thing that the truck was hauling gasoline. Otherwise it  
wouldn't have made such a HUGE explosion---and  block off a whole  
intersection---AND split the two would-be-allies at different sides of  
the city...  
  
  
"....!!!" Trowa yelled stepping back from the huge flames and mini  
explosions of the wreckage.  "Officer Maxwell!?"  
  
  
"I'm fine! Meet me at the police station. Just keep at that direction  
you're at!" Duo shouted from the other side.  
  
  
"..." he sighed. Trowa took off down an alley leading to the downtown  
area.  
  
  
Soon the flames and minor explosions were becoming all too much for  
Duo. He fled down the street to safety... uhm.... Away from the  
flames---and towards more lurking zombies._


	2. Streets of Undead Rage

Chapter 2: Streets of Un-Dead Rage 

(cue the techno!!! Uh… sorry, Streets of Rage flashback… it is owned by SEGA)

(**Once AGAIN I own NOTHING in this fic!!!  Sue me and you get NOTHING, but a pair of SKETCHERS!)**

Trowa turned the corner and barely dodged a would-be-sneak-attack from a zombie. Annoyed, he simply grabbed the ghoul by the head and slammed it into a wall.  With a mere sigh and without even looking, Trowa shot it point blank in the head.  Trowa was ready for anything!  

_These zombies are a joke!!!! I'd laugh out loud if I weren't so DAMN kewl. _ He thought… until he heard the score of zombies lurching after him down the alleyway.  

"GwAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOR!!!!"  The zombies sounded.

_Uh_…_Scratch that…_

"…."  He sighed in aggravation once more, but this time it was tainted with a touch of dread.  _With this gun, I'm sure to die.  Dying is not an option, at least not now_.

He had no choice but to flee.  Using his uncanny speed, he ran through the dark zombie-infested alleyway in search of the police station.  

@@@@@

Officer Maxwell went running down the street.  After going buck wild on a couple of zombies, he didn't notice the horde of fellow undead thugs at his heels.  Now that he's out of ammo, he's been making the mad dash ever since...

His retreat brought him to a disaster area that consisted of a pile up.  It included several cars, a hot dog stand, and a city bus.  Guess who won?  As Duo made his way toward the bus' rear entrance he noticed a bunch of zombies chowing down on a fallen officer.

"Eat up guys!"  Duo gagged a joke as he climbed aboard the object of mass transit.  Upon entering, he noticed a case of handgun ammo, just lying at the rear seat.  "Suh-weet!"  he clamored, loading the case into his weapon. "How convenient that this ammo fits SO well into my handgun."  He stated to himself…goofily (is that REALLY a word?!?)

As he began his trek out of the bus through the front he found himself confronted by another zombie.  She was crawling on the floor.  It was quite obvious she was trying to attack his brand new boots.  "Oh no you don't lady!  The only chick who has the right to trash these boots is my sugar mama (Hilde) who bought'em for me!"  he proclaimed as he blasted the femme zombie in the head several times….  Now that he's almost on empty, he continued to search for more ammo.  

Sure enough he found another case of ammo lying upon the side seat of the bus.  "Lucky!"  he smiled as he quickly reloaded his gun.

"HooooooooooooGaaaaaaaar!!!!"  sounded a zombie waiting at the door, leading to Duo's escape.

At first he was gonna go nuts, wasting ammo, but then…

SMASH!  Duo kicked the folding door into the zombie's face, crashing him upon the asphalt.  Duo jumped out of the bus, using the zombie for landing space and continued towards the police station that was…HEY a block away!!! "Niiice!" he grinned making his way towards his place of employment.

HOWEVER, the only way from this end, to enter the police station was through the dark and scary underground walkway.  Duo's tummy grumbled, for he had a BAAAAAAAD feeling about going there at this moment.

"Aw maaaaaaaaaan. This blows!"  Duo huffed as he sped towards the area.  "I hope that kid is alright…"

@@@@@@@

Trowa Barton raced down YET ANOTHER alley and out into a dead end street.  _Not good.  He looked back and heard numerous zombies closing in on him.  __REALLY Not Good.  He glanced around the shopping area and spotted a gun and ammo shop right next to the children's boutique. __That CAN'T be GOOD.  Trowa didn't fret the details he headed there._

"Thank the gods!" he exhaled as he walked inside his usual place of leisure----

"FREEZE!!!" shouted a heavy set man behind the counter.  He was pointing his shotgun directly at Trowa's head.  "Who are you?!  What are you doing here?!"

Trowa held up his arms and stated, "Don't shoot. I'm a human." _I am so sick of saying this already… Heeeey!  Is that a Benelli?  Those babies can be upgraded to blow some shit up!  MUST get that shotgun…._

The burly man stared at Trowa for a good minute, continuing his aim at the Unibanged One.  He soon dropped his defense and released a hearty sigh.

"Oh, sorry about that, **babe**!"  He spoke, walking out from behind the counter towards Trowa.  "I thought you were one of them."

Trowa put his hands down and blinked.  _Did he just call me: BABE?! _"What the **HELL** is going on here?"  he asked suspiciously.

"Hold on."  The big guy spoke as he locked the door and leered at the teen.  "I don't have a clue **darling**.  By the time I noticed something was wrong the city had been infested with zombies." 

_Ewe!?!?  Did he just call me: DARLING??!!_  Trowa staggered backward and uttered in retaliation, "Uhh… look!  I don't understand what---"

He was interrupted again by the big man as he cooed, "But don't you worry, **girlie**!  You'll be safe in here."  The 'odd' store owner continued, "I'm keeping a close eye on things….heh!" he rested a calloused hand upon Trowa's shoulder….

The Lanky Lad practically jumped back in anger AND extreme fear.  He shouted, "You HICK!!!  I'm not a girl!!!

"All the better! Sweetness!" the creepy man grinned.

"Uh-huh…well, I'll be over there."  Trowa announced as he turned and quickly began to walk away…. In the direction of the rear exit---

**SMACK-O!!!** Trowa's rear sounded when the Deliverance Reject slapped his large and rough hand across it .

"**EGAD!!!! What the Bloody Hell do you think you are doing?!?!?**"  Trowa shouted as he took out his handgun and aimed for the man's head.  He was blooming mad and his ass was stinging sore.  "**I will fucking kill you!!!**"

"**MINE'S** bigger than **YOUR'S**!"  The store owner snickered as he aimed the Benelli at Trowa's head.  "There's plenty more where THAT came from, **pudding**!"

"I think not, fat-ass!"  Trowa smirked as he saw it coming… or more exactly 'them'.

As a gang of zombies went crashing through the glass and grabbed the store owner.  He was too stupid to notice the herd of zombies lurking just outside the store window.  Perhaps his slapping Trowa's butt gave attracted even more attention. 

With speed and grace Trowa managed to duck under the store owner and snatched the weapon before the zombies tackled him to the ground.  The zombies were busy feasting on that goonie (wtf is that?) to notice Trowa's escape.

            "Have fun…"  Trowa stated as he exited through the rear door. He suddenly rubbed his sore bum, "… that hurt like a bitch…. damn!"

@@@@

Officer Maxwell marched down the stairs leading to the underground stairway. He raced down the path leading to the police station's front entrance.  He exhaled in relief seeing that there was no danger in sight.

The Braided Wonder froze in his steps. He could certainly hear it!

"Duuuuuuo..." sounded a slightly familiar voice.

"Hellooooo…"  Duo replied in the same manner.  "Who there?!  Who there?!?" he continued to joke.  _It can't possibly be a zombie.  It's talking!_ He thought to himself as he started moving closer to the voice (**done like a true horror movie him-bo…).**  "Alright, who's that!?  Sgt. Snyder?  Officer Otto?!  Come out, man!"

"Duuuuo!"  groaned the female officer zombie as she stepped out of the shadows.  She stalked towards him, with an evil grin on her decrepit face.  "I've been waiting for you, Freshmeat."

Duo staggered back and shouted, "Oh damn!  You got uglier!!!"  He took out his gun and aimed.  "Captain Dorothy Catalonia?!?!?"

(**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Apparently, she, too survived the Parasol Mansion disaster in the first Gundam Wing Evil fanfic….)

The blonde zombie burst into speed and smacked him in the head.  "That's Miss Preventer Captain Catalonia, FreshMeat!"  She stood over him and snuffed, "You're lucky to die by my hand… or in this case; my mouth."

Duo struggled to his feet and commented, "You are like SO leaving yourself open for cracks!  I'm sure your nasty mouth has led to the deaths of several guys--- cut that—girls!"

"AAAAAAARGH!!!"  Dorothy screamed as she went for a heel kick to Duo's groin.  "I'll eat you alive!!!!"

"Oh that was SO damn original!"  Duo huffed in defiance.

Her attack was instantly countered as Duo caught her hi-heel and hoisted her into the air.  Dorothy landed, ever-so-gracefully, and served a low sweep to Duo's legs.  He fell to the ground only to be receiving a quick kick to the ribs by a VERY speedy Preventer superior.  Duo grabbed Dorothy's foot and rolled across the ground, taking the zombie-bitch with him.  She hit the ground hard—SO HARD that one of her dead eyebrows fell off.

"Eweeeeeee!  That's gross… despite being a major improvement!" Duo joked as he took out his gun and started to shoot her for all it's worth! "Die!  Bitch!  Die!!!!!! Gyahahahahaha!!!! Kyahahahahaha!!!!  Boooyahahahahaha----WHAT in the…??"

The headshots were NOT phasing her!  Surely she was some sort of super zombie!!!  She continued to get up, ever-so-gracefully and turn towards a bewildered Duo.

"Don't you EVER die!!!!"  He shouted just before running out of ammo.  "Uh… shit!"

"I never liked yoooooou, FreshMeat!!!"  Dorothy snarled as she served the Rookie of Death a vicious backhand.

Duo went flying through the air--- hitting the wall.  Dorothy raced over to him, grabbed his leg and started to bite down.  Duo instantly smashed her face in with the other foot.  She skidded across the walkway and hit the wall on the other side.

Duo took his empty gun threw it at her.  "You freaked up winch!!! I hate your bitch ass, too!!!"  

Using that inhuman speed she got up and socked him dead in the face.  Duo gave her an uppercut to the eye!  She lost another eyebrow!  Dorothy was infuriated.

"You diiiiiiie!!!!"  She howled as she jump-kicked him in to the wall… on his side.  

Duo ducked just in time to avoid having his head get smashed into the wall.  He followed with a rising head butt to the jaw!  Dorothy landed brutally on her butt, but she got up again and growled at him.

"I'll destroy yooooooou!!"  She released a mighty roar as she went bulldozing towards him at full speed----- Duo saw it coming and smoothly sidestepped and allowed the wall… on his side to finish her off.  

SPLAT!!!

Dorothy's body slid down the wall, leaving the slimy remains of her head behind.

"Niiice move, Capt. Catalonia."  Duo feigned a clap as he walked towards the other end of the walkway.  "Beotch!"  He approached the stairs and stopped, "Oh yeah!"  He hurried back to the scene of Dorothy's demise, to pick up his gun.  "I couldn't have done it without you!"  He smiled.  He blinked, "I mean I could've—no I mean—AH fuck it!  It's cold out here!"  Duo continued his trek towards the police station.

@@@

Trowa was crushing some unfortunate zombie through the door of a police car (**WITH HIS FOOT!!!)** when he heard the blades of a chopper way above. Already annoyed with the constant barrage of zombies that **now** seemed to be running from him, Trowa went to check out the rooftop in hopes of signaling the distant chopper.

By the time he got there, he sighted the chopper.  He already had the plan made in his head. _ Signal the chopper.  Kill the pilot.  Search for mission partner.  Get the hell out of here_… Trowa added. _Oh yeah, take Officer Maxwell to safety---the least I can do for him rescuing me---might be best to do that before finding the mission partner—I heard he's a suicidal-homicidal maniac_….  Trowa made a curious expression.  _So why am I teamed up with him?!?  WTF??!_

The Silent One's concentration was broke off by the voice of another human being nearby.

"Over here!!!"  Shouted a portly officer. He was signaling the helicopter.  He looked bruised, perhaps due to a zombie attack.

_I'd better kill him, too.  He won't last the night with those wounds._  Trowa convinced himself as he walked onto the rooftop and started to stalk towards him…machete in hand….(?!?!)

Yeah, he just HAPPENS to have a machete on his vest for decoration and just decided to use it.  He really hates making a mess, UNLESS it involves demolitions and mass destruction…. And wasting the soon to be wasted….

As the hovering chopper lowers a rope for the chubby officer to climb—a trio of zombies came out of nowhere and attacked him.  The officer with a rather impressive automatic Assault Rifle in hand decided to make a run for it…

Riiiiiiiiigh, big boy.  Trowa couldn't help but jest.  He just stood there and witness the slaughter.  Saves him making a mess.  Trowa headed towards the scene…

Just as the zombies clobber the man, biting and gnawing off his flesh, he decides to use the gun.  Unfortunately his aim was so off due to him being eaten—he opened fire on the helicopter and EVERYwhere else the ASS!!!

Trowa dashed back down the fire escape.  "It would HELP if SOMEONE would learn how to FRIGGING aim!!!!"  He shouted in annoyance.  "GawdDAMN Bastard!"

But the bullets still went flying.  They actually hit something?!  The pilot!  Yeah, this saves yet another mess for Trowa.  Oh wait the pilot died while operating the chopper.  Oh damn!  Now it is crashing into the rooftop.  Oh shit!

"The FUCK!?!"  Trowa exclaimed as he peered out of hiding… cuz the officer finally stopped firing—cuz he's died.  "!!!" he screamed as he ducked for cover again.

The chopper crashed into the cop and the zombies and made a vicious explosion afterward.  Scraps and ruble flew everywhere.  Trowa stepped out of hiding and strolled past the mess.  He looked at the enflamed chopper and charred foot that remained of the ill-fated officer.  

_I don't have to pity stupid people._  He stated coldly in his mind and continued through the rooftop door.  


	3. Out of Trouble... into a Nightmare...

Chapter 3: Out of Trouble… into a Nightmare…

(I own NO ONE in this fic!!!!)

            Duo raced through the Lemur City Police station and found another case of ammo at the reception desk.  It was like his… 10th tonight?!  He looked around the empty police station and noticed it was empty….?!??! (Wait! What did I JUST say??!?!)

            "I wonder if Trowa made it here."  He asked himself.  "I'd better get to the Preventers' office and find his brother."

            He entered the police office and found Sgt. Gen. Septum lying on the floor.  The severely wounded officer looked up at Duo and said in the **most hideous voice in dubbed history, "Oh you must be the FreshMeat."**

            Duo frowned at the constant choice of words, "I'd PREFER rookie, **KERMIT!"  He knelt down beside him and asked, "What happened here?  Is there anything I can do?!?  That doesn't involve getting this kewl uniform dirty?"**

            "WhaaaaAAAaaat!?!"  Septum croaked.  

            Duo covered his ears and uttered, "NOTHING, sir!"

            "LooKs LiKe YOUR party has Just Been CANCelled."  The superior officer revealed.

            Duo glanced around the demolished office, filled with dead officers and headless zombies… "Oh really…" he looked back at Septum and asked, "Did I have a stripper?  What about her!?!?"

            "Oh, yeah.  She was awesome… uhm her name was Sylvia----nice legs…."

            "Yeah!"  Duo drooled sounding hopeful.  "Where is she?"

            "She Dead!"

            "GAWD damnit!"

The wounded man handed Duo an object. "Take this Key Card!  YOU CAN USE this to UnLock THE doors in thE station. ReScUe the SurviVors!  HurrY! Just Go!"  Septum pointed a gun at him for no reason.

            Duo was already halfway out the door when he saw this, "What… are you croaking about?  You know **DAMN** well there's gonna be NO survivors!"

SLAM! Officer Maxwell left the room, and started his search for the Preventer's Office.

@@@

Meanwhile, Trowa was in the detective's office in search for ammo with his new toy: The Shotgun.  However, his eagerness soon dulled when the only form of ammo ANYwhere was the blasted handgun bullets.

"Grrr.." he sounded.  _No wonder all these officers are dead.  They're idiots.  These bullets couldn't pierce paper—led alone--- flesh!_  _I'm in a cursed death trap!_ He shouted in his head.  He continued his search around the large office, and spotted a water valve, which probably went with the tank upstairs… _Why is it here?  WHY DON'T THEY KEEP SHIT TOGETHER!!!  This makes no sense!!! They're like kids!!!  I gotta get the fuck outta here before this place makes me stupid or something??!! (Where did I say that before?!?)_

He carried on. There were a few zombified detectives lurking around the area.  They were never short from receiving a high quality office chair in the head.  Then Trowa spotted the main office suite, complete with an air tight lock safe….

He sat down upon the floor, turned the safe around, and spotted the sticker on the back of the safe.  _How moronic they left the sticker on the damn safe_…. He released a sigh and continued to open the safe.

Inside he found some shotgun rounds and a map.  _Hmm. So there's the Preventer's HQ.  He must be there._  He tossed it aside.  _Oh joy, shotgun rounds!_ He cheered in his mind as he happily loaded his weapon and only frin

Trowa headed upstairs to continue his search for the infamous Preventers' Headquarters.  

Minutes later…

Trowa was strolling around the corner leading to the hallway that chopper crashed through.  He suddenly heard footsteps…

"Officer Maxwell?"  The Lanky Teen called out.  "Is that you?

No reply.

Trowa continued to stroll down the hallway to find the source of the footsteps.  Suddenly, he heard the overhead structure collapse behind him.  It didn't jolt Trowa at all…

But an 8 foot tall black-cloaked Giant did…

"Holy Shi-!"  Trowa gasped as the gray skinned behemoth just towered over him with a cold lifeless glare.  

The Giant grabbed Trowa by the neck and lifted him up.  The Silent Mercenary had never felt so helpless in his life as the Giant began to squeeze….

"…!!!!!!"  He desperately sounded as he took out the shotgun and fired.

The blast hit the Giant in the face, causing it to toss Trowa. He crashed into the ruble and landed upon the floor with a PLOP!  As the Giant shook the stars out of his head, Trowa stared in fear, noticing the point blank blast of the shotgun DID NOT phase him.

"…."  He swore.  Without hesitation he ran towards the giant and flipped over him. Then Trowa took off running, like a cheetah, down the short hallway and out the door.

The Giant looked around and got up.  He also continued to walk down the short hallway, after Trowa.

"Oh shit! Ohhh shiiiit!!!Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!" The Former Silent One screamed as he went scampering out of the secretary office and out onto the second floor walkway.  When he saw that the Giant had broken through the office door Trowa went to screaming "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYH!!!!  Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp me!  Somebody!!! Help me! Help Meeeeee!!!!"

@@@@

            Duo entered a hallway that would lead to the Investigation suite… which leads to yet another hallway…which _could_ lead to the Preventer's office (wha?!).Confused as hell, Duo went on, despite hearing a slight high pitch scream and gun fire-- WAY off in the distance of the station probably on the 2nd floor.  He figured by the time he got there to save the poor sap he'd already be dead. So there's no point in turning back. (Damn, that's cold!)

            Suddenly he heard a dripping noise not too far around the corner.  Actually Duo figured it out to be sort of a splashing sound.  As he turned the corner he spotted a decapitated body of an officer.  Still, the now, pouring noise can be heard down the hallway.  Duo's eyes went to the clear liquid (water?!) spilling down onto the floor from the ceiling and something else….

            "HssssssssssssssssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!" sounded the UGLIEST creature Duo had EVER seen.  

This beat out the Zombified Dorothy. It appeared to have patches of skin all over his red and slimy body.  It had neither hands, nor feet only a single long claw for each limb.  Its bony head exposed the brain which throbbed with the excitement of seeing it's prey (uh... Duo?!?).  Its hollowed out eyes seemed to follow Duo's slight movement in the opposite direction.  It's long, piercing tongue lashed all over it's upside-down body and more drool poured from its jagged mouth!

            This thing was making a lake or an ocean with all the water works.  Duo didn't know whether to run, shit his pants, get a mop, or throw up.

            "What the Fu---"Duo gasped just before the creature released its grip to land---

            However, due to the salivation lake below, the creature didn't make a grand introduction. It slipped on its own pool of drool.

            The creature went "Hssss-----Hic!!?!?!"

 Its single clawed foot shot straight up in the air.  Due to the high slippery factor of the slobber, the creature twirled in mid air like a cartoon character and landed on its head---breaking its neck.

Duo stared at the dead creature for a while before chirping, "Uhm… Okay!" and continued down the hallway the hallway.

            Duo climbed up the stairs to approach the hallway leading to the Preventers' HQ.  Strangely enough, he felt a slight déjà vu sensation as he neared the room, but he shrugged it off. _ Must be the herbs_.  He thought.  _Better stop smoking 'em._

            He was finally opening the door that lead to the Preventers' HQ.  This was it!  The moment EVERY rookie looks forward to: Seeing these elusive agents of Lemur City.  

Duo was told ALL sorts of stories about them.  

One officer told him that they have the right to kill and/or maim ANYone at ANYtime.  _Wow!  Just like the LAPD!!!_  Duo thought with excitement.  _Now THAT'S power!  _

He also heard they were androids created by some doctor that lived in a mountain and they go by numbers instead of names.  _Whoa! Sounds like a wild anime or some junk!_  

It was also believed that they were terrorists from various colonies in space that waged war against a worldwide elite organization----but that sounded TOO farfetched for Duo.  _That's just crazy… who'd believe something as silly as that._

            (!?!?! Uhh…. Duo…)

            Duo stepped inside and hit the light switch.  He frowned when he realized he was not standing inside of a high tech lair EVERYBODY told him about.

            "These people are PIGS!!!!"  He yelled to himself kicking aside a half empty pizza box that led the avalanche of garbage upon his feet.  There were SO MANY pizza boxes on top of the desks, socks laid across the fax machine, spitballs on the ceiling…

            Underwear upon the chairs?!?!!?  Dirty underwear??!!  

"Ewe…." Duo tromped in the opposite direction of that.  It was much difficult as he soon found himself standing in 2ft of filth!  "Oh damn this is nasty!" When he managed to find a desk he perched upon that for safety.  At least the fuzzy Ramen noodles sitting beside didn't seem to pose a threat to him...(yet).

            "Officer Maxwell?"  Trowa's voice sounded outside the room and down the hallway.  He almost tripped over a soda bottle when he approached the door.  "Duo… what is all this?"

            Duo sat upon the desk like a stray cat and answered, "Uhm…. The bottom of a disposal unit?"  He stated, "Trowa, I doubt we're gonna find your brother….in this mess….alive.

            "No doubt…" The Student uttered as he plowed his way towards the locker and spotted a grenade launcher inside.  _Oooh_!  _Grenade_ _Launcher_!  

            Duo couldn't see what Trowa was looking at, his backside was blocking the way.  "Heeey!  Whatcha got?!?!  A weapon?"

            _Shit_!  "Nothing!"  He quickly turned around and cracked a slight…. Tiny smile.  "So what's the next plan since my brother's not here, Officer Duo Maxwell!" he asked shielding the locker with his long arms.  "Did you find any survivors?" he continued to smile.  _My face hurts…._

            Duo stared at him… strangely. _Yeeesh!_ _He looks scary when he does that._ "Oh! The Plan? Yeah… we might as well look for survivors.  Your brother and the Preventers could be hanging around here too.  If we find them we could probably team up with them.  Then there's the chief of police he might be still be here and who knows…"

            His plan to distract Duo from his prized weapon worked like a charm.  _He has the attention span of a gnat…. _Slowly, his hands reached behind himto hide his prize…

            "Can you believe he wanted me to cut my beloved ha--" Duo continued to babble as he strolled towards the door and leave. "So?  Did you find anything….odd?"  He suddenly asked with a hint of fear in his tone.  "I mean I swear I saw something out of this world a while ago and…."

            Trowa's struggling smile faded as he recalled that Giant that attacked him. But he STILL reached behind him for the Grenade Launcher.  _Can't he just leave.  I can take care it when I get this weapon.  Go away!!!_  He screeched in his mind towards Duo… who continued to babble.

            **Crash!  Went the Grenade Launcher as it fell out of the locker and landed between Trowa's feet.  Duo looked.  Trowa looked.  Duo smiled.  Trowa frowned.**

            "Heeeeeeeeeey!!!!!!"  I've been finding ammo for this thing ALL over the place.  Good thing I changed my mind and decided to keep 'em.  Thanx buddy!" Duo bent down, snatched the Grenade Launcher, and left down the hallway.

_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!  DAMN YOOOOOOU!!!! Trowa_ was furious!  He was about to take out his shotgun when Duo came strolling back.  "What?!?!"

            Duo handed Trowa a walkie talkie.  "We'll keep in touch with these.  I'll signal you when I find a safe escape route---"

            "(…and I'll LEAVE you to die!!!!)"  Trowa mumbled still sour from the loss of such a useful weapon.

            Duo laughed, "You're pretty funny!  I'll see ya later!"

            Trowa snapped, "Did you call me…..Pretty?!?!"  His traumatic experience with Mr. Bendo will probably leave him more disturbed than ANYthing he's confronted in the police station….  (sad indeed).

            Duo was halfway down the hall when he turned around, "No, dude—you're a guy" he stated flatly.  "I said you're PRETTY funny… You ass!"__

            Trowa sighed in relief, "Oh, okay.  Go on."

            Duo got sly and stated, "I'd refer to you as handsome.  Handsome is for pretty boys…"

            "??!?!?! Oh dear gawd---!!!!."

            "It was a JOKE!" 

            "Oh!" Trowa sighed.  Then he shouted, "That wasn't funny."

            Duo left the hallway, laughing his ass off.  Trowa stood there and started to brood until he heard footsteps…AGAIN!!!!

            "…!"  The Tall One rushed out of the hallway to find Duo.  "Officer Maxwell!!!  Give me back that weapon!  You dork!!!"

            From around the corner of the hallway, another person traipsed down the hallway passing the Preventers' HQ (aka Pigsty).  The child swore he heard voices and not the typical groans and wails of the zombies that had infested this building.

            "Hello?"  he called out but no one answered.  _I'm all alone again…._


	4. Survival Horror Shenanigans

Chapter 4: Survival Horror Shenanigans

(I don't own **ANYBODY** or **ANYTHING** in this story!!!!!)

            Duo Maxwell entered the lobby area, next to the detective's office.  There was a soda machine…

            "Oooh!!!!"  He cooed.

            AND a ton of zombies…

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAck!!!" he screamed.

            "YaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAArgh!!!!"  Howled the zombies in unison as they went staggering towards him.

            Duo was terrified.  He slowly walked backwards until he hit his rear with the wall.  "AAAAAck!!!  Oh!"  He looked at the wall, "Oh silly me I thought it was a zombie, Hee-hee!"  Then he suddenly turned back and noticed the zombies, "AAAAAck!!!!"  He screamed clutching his Grenade Launcher to his chest…..??!!  "AAAAck---Huh?!?!"  He paused noticing the Grenade Launcher in his arms.  "Oh yeah!"

            BLAMO!!!!  Sounded the Grenade Launcher as it fired Upward and hit the light fixtures.

            "What the Bloody hell did it shoot up for?!?!?!"  Duo yelled hitting the weapon upon the floor.  "Is it broken?!??!"

            Suddenly Trowa walked in, "You OBVIOUSLY CAN'T use this thing!"  He snatched the weapon out of his hand, snatched an acid round from out of Duo's braid---

            "Hey?!?!"  Duo whined.  "That's my inventory area!!!"

            Trowa ignored Duo, which was something he realized he'd have to do often. He FIRED the sulfuric rounds in to the horde of zombies.

            **Sizzzzzzzzzzzzle!!!  Fizzzzzzzz!!!!  Pop!  The undead terrors melted into a slimy goo upon the floor.**

            Duo looked on in amazement.  "WOW!!!  Is this what they teach you kids in college!  I GOTS to go there!!!"

            Trowa handed Duo the weapon and sighed, "It's only fair that you keep it.  Just don't use the Grenade Rounds… they are retarded.  Acid and Napalm are your best frin with this weapon." Trowa handed Duo the weapon and looked away…probably shedding a tear….

            "oooooh!"  Duo goggled at his new 'frin' in wonderment.  "What an awesome gun.  It turns things into gooooooooooo!"

            "….?"  Trowa concluded as he walked out.  "Okay, I'm leaving…"

            "OOOhh maaaaaaan!  I gotta find some zombies to turn into gooooooooo…."

            "…."  Trowa left the hall.

            "AHA!!!  My plan to distract Trowa from MY soda machine worked PERFECTLY!!!  HAHA!"  Duo shouted for glee!  He ran over to the prized soda machine.  "Soda Pop! OOooooooh!!!!  Soda Face!!!  I will drink your sooooooul!!!!"  he exclaimed as he shot off the lock with his handgun.  There's a use for this after all!

            After gulping down his 10th Mountain Dew, Officer Maxwell decided to continue his search for more weapons—er survivors.  He strolled further down the corridor opposite the lobby area and came across a door.

            "Probably leading to another HALLWAY."  He muttered to himself.  Sure enough.  "Oh joy.  What's the big deal with all these long halls…" He continued as he strolled down the red marbled walls of the corridor.

            As he turned the corner he came across a more open area, and a couple of zombies.  As Duo began to waste them with his trusty new weapon, this time with the flame rounds, he noticed he heard footsteps….. really heavy footsteps…  He peered through the flames (which were the only remains of the zombies) and spotted a figure moving toward him.

            "Oh hey!  I'm sorry about the mess!"  Duo waved at the figure, which seemed pretty tall through the heavy smoke.  _Must be Trowa again.  Won't he just give up!  He's SO not getting my Grenade Launcher._  "Trowa?!  Is that you----uhh…." Duo took a few steps back from the low flames when he realized that it wasn't Trowa.  It wasn't even human.  _But that black cloak is looking sharp, tho._  Duo thought before going ape shit.

            "BU-U-U-U-U-U-U-URP!"  The Officer of Death belched.  After excusing himself he quickly translated, "Oh ShiiiiT!!!"  He fired the Grenade Launcher at the Giant, only to realize that it WASN'T phasing him.

            The Giant continued his march towards Duo, who was now tearing ass out the multiple corridors. The Giant was pretty fast for an oversized freak.  He smashed through the door to the lobby area in his pursuit of the Braided Wonder.  The Giant even made a quick dash or two, barely missing snatching Duo by his braid.  Officer Maxwell took a quick turn and opened fire upon the Giant's face.  The Giant was stalled a bit, and Duo made a run for it…

            Then he came across the broken (more like vandalized) soda machine from before.  "Oooooooh!!!  Mountain Dew!!!!"  he cooed almost distracted by the carbonated green goo of hyper doom.

            Suddenly the Giant got back up and hurried towards Duo with a hasty gait.

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAyh!!!!"  Duo screamed as he pitched a Mountain Dew can at the Giant—

            **KRAK!!!  The soda can exploded at impact the Giant's hard head.**

            Duo snatched a few more sodas and began to launch and whole barrage of canned whoop-ass at the Giant.  He went throwing them for all it was worth.  But the Giant kept coming.

            Soon this Big Freak was a mere 10 feet away when Duo came up with another idea.  He pulled the violated soda machine out and rolled it towards the Giant, was about to push it aside…  Until Duo launched a few flame rounds at the machine.

            **BWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!  **

Fire!!!  CHAOS!!! And fizzy stuff went flying EVERYWHERE!!!!  Duo couldn't see whether the creature was dead, for hiding in the next room.  At least the thick black and green swirled fizz cloud shrouded his escape.

            "Phew!"  Duo exhaled as he entered a new area behind the Detective's Office.  "I guess that way is outta the question."

            Trowa was sitting in the middle of the hallway, modifying his shotgun, when he heard footsteps around the corner.  He quickly spun to his feet and armed himself with his more powerful weapon and darted around the corner to find the Giant…

            But no one was there….

            "…"  _Why is he avoiding me?  …! Does he now know I am capable off fucking him up?_

            Trowa's instincts allowed him to brave up and follow the footsteps which sounded behind a newly discovered room door.  Trowa walked through the door---

            He found himself in a rather lavish study.  There was a finely polished bookshelf loaded with books, a fancy coffee table beside him, and a trophy display case behind him.  He looked in front of him and spotted an office desk, the chair was turned away from him. Trowa looked about the walls and found himself less impressed.  The displays of wall-to-wall dead animal heads sickened him.

            "Talk about overkill…"  Trowa stated.  He looked to his left and sighted another door.  _It must've went in there._  He was about to continue his hunt when….

            "**Hold it RIIIIIIGHT there, weakling!"  Spoke an unfamiliar voice in the direction of the desk.  The seat spun around to reveal a young man of Chinese descent aiming a gun at him.  "****I AM Wufei Chang: Chief of the ****Lemur****City**** Police.  Who the HELL are YOU?" he asked snubbingly.**

            "…"

            "**DON'T bother telling me.  It doesn't matter anyway!  You will end up the same as her!"  Wufei yelled as he pointed his gun down at the desk, revealing nothing!**

            Trowa looked around then asked, "Who?"

            Wufei looked down and frowned.  "**Damnit!!! ONNA!!!!  Get here now!!!!"  **

            Just then the ceiling opened up and a woman garbed in white fell down from the opening.  The impact of the fall rendered her unconscious.  She was a young blonde, thought she looked a tad older than the Baby-Face Jerk of a police chief.  Her hair was in two ponytails, each on one side of her neck, and twirled. (Sally, phew, that girl..)

            Trowa looked at Wufei and yelled, "Chief!!!  What are you doing?!?!?"

            "**Silence!!!  It's HER fault my police station is SO ass-backwards!!!"  he argued pointing the gun at the knocked out woman. Then, for no reason he started to imitate his 'beloved's voice and went to nagging, " ****_'Wu-Bear!  I think we should have HEART-SHAPED, SPADE-SHAPED, CLUB-SHAPED KEYS HIDDEN ALL OVER THE POLICE STATION.  MAKE THEIR WORK A FUN GAME THEY SAY!!!!  WE DON'T NEED COMMON SENSE TO RUN A POLICE STATION---'" Wufei quickly went back to his usual angry tone and demanded to know, _****"WAIT a minute!! HOW the HELL did you get in here?!!?"**

            Trowa blinked.  "Uhm… through the roof…."

            "Shit yeah!! I've been trying to find a way out of here for the longest!!!" Wufei suddenly flipped over the desk, pushed Trowa aside and took off.  "Seeya!"

            "…..You might wanna watch out for zombies and giants…"

            "**I'll be fine, WEAKLING!"  Wufei snapped as he slammed the door.**

"…"

            Once again he turned towards the door at his side.  He heard the tiny footsteps again.  This time, they sounded like they were going further from the door.  Trowa jumped over the coffee table and bolted through the door to chase the maker of the footsteps….

            He entered a display room…..filled with… weird stuff.  He frowned at the glossed over skulls of small and large animals.  He got grossed out at the vials and jars filled with… animal organs and…. URP!!!!

            "Oh!"  sounded a voice from around the shelf opposite of Trowa.

            "…!"  Trowa uttered as he followed suit.

            He found himself in a completely dark area of the study. He couldn't see shit!  But he felt something smash HARD into his groin---

            "a**_iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaye!"_**  Trowa squeaked faltering to the ground.

            He felt a figure brush past him. 

            "Oh dear!"  whined a young voice looming over Trowa, as he laid across the ground… in complete, utter, total, 'penile' pain.  "It's a zombie---"

            He tried to run, but Trowa's long arm extended and caught him by the face.  **"MuthaFucker!!!! YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!!" The pain wore off only leaving rage. He flicked the lights on. "Huh?!"**

            "mmmmmmmmmmmrmph!!!!"  screamed the little boy kicking and sounding?!?

            Rage turned to out-and-out confusion. _A kid?!?!? WTF is HE doing here?!?  This is crazy!  What the hell did he hit me with?!?!  _He glanced over to the newly dented metal bat in front of him.  _Oh… Daaaamn.  Maybe I should've had THAT as a weapon instead of the pea-shooter.Ugh!  Must NOT mention PEE----EVER!!!_

            "mrph!!!"  The child sounded against the palm of Trowa's hand.  His legs began to dangle as Trowa continued his hold while standing up.  "MMMMMmmrph!!!!"

            He was losing oxygen, not to mention spinal hold of his head.

            "Oh my bad."  Trowa huffed in surprise as he suddenly dropped him to the floor.  

            "Get away from me!  Aiiye!!!"  The kid shouted as he attempted to scamper away from Trowa.

            The Tall One landed one foot on the child and held his weight firmly upon his back.  "Calm down---I'm not a zombie! Don't make me SQUASH you." He threatened in a semi-soothing manner.  "I SAID calm the-fuck-down!" Trowa ordered in a completely threatening tone.

            The blonde boy stopped struggling.  Trowa removed his foot… leaving a large shoe print on the back of his white sports shirt.  He turned around looked at the Unibanged Mercenary and began to sob. 

            "…?!"  Trowa stared dumbfounded by the sudden act of un-kewlness.

            The little boy then wrapped his arms around the college student and cried even harder, smothering his face in his tummy.  Snot, spit, and tears smothered ALL over his red leather vest….

            "Ugh!!!!  Shit!!!" Trowa immediately tried to pry him off.  This vest costed him a fortune.  He killed AT LEAST 2 goons to pay for HALF of the damn thing.  It was CUSTOM-MADE!!!  "Get off of me, dude!!!! This ain't cool!!!" He soon found his struggle was at a loss.  "There, there…. **Shut-up**!  I'm here now.  **You can HAVE the damn vest**."  He growled as he reluctantly patted the weeping child upon the head. Giving up all hope of saving his vest.

            The boy EVENTUALLY pulled away and wiped the last of the waterworks off his face…. With a set of tissues he had in his shorts pockets.

            _What about me?!?! You snot-nosed, son-of-a----_ "I go by the name of Trowa Barton.  What's your name?"  He introduced in his usual manner.

            The blonde sniffled twiddling his thumbs and peering up to the named stranger, "My name is Quatre Raberba Winner. I'm lost."

            "No shit."  Trowa blurted before censoring himself.  "Oh I mean---Hey!  What's a jit like you doing here?  This place is NOT safe for kids.  Where are your parents, Little Guy?"

            Quatre frowned, "Ms. Relena (my mom) told me to come here when the zombies attacked us…."

            "Us?"

            "Yes, me and my forty bodyguards.  We were altogether when we left, but then we were attacked by zombies.  Rashid told me to run to the police station to meet up with Ms. Relena and---". He went back to sobbing.

            Trowa stepped back, wanting to avoid more 'waterworks'.  "Don't worry.  I'm sure you're 40 bodyguards will be safe.  I mean there's forty of them… so you really shouldn't stress it---YOU'RE the one in danger.  You're just a jit.  You should come with me. Let's go."  He took Quatre by the shoulder and started to walk him out---

            "No!!!"  Quatre snatched away.  "M-mr. Treize  is lost!!!  I GOTTA find him!!!"

            "Who the hell is that?"

            "I'm sorry Mr. Barton—"

            "Trowa." He intervened correcting him.

            Quatre continued, "I mean, Mr. Trowa."

            "…"

            "I have to find Mr. Trieze!!!"

            Suddenly the blonde took off running out of the study area.

            Trowa just stood there and blinked, "Quatre, Quatre….oh well…" he shouted in a LOW decibel.  He continued on his trek out of the study…._Dumbass!_


	5. Heero! WAAAAAAT!!!!

**Chapter 5: Heero! WAAAAAAIT!!!!**

(DON'T SUE! DON'T SUE! I'M BROKE!)

            Much exploration was done courtesy of Officer Maxwell, and he loved it.  Duo was in the armory locker when he found a side pack filled with herbs!!!!  He was looking forward to getting high later on tonight!!!!  

Duo spotted the locker next to him but lost interest when he was surprised by yet another kamikaze Slobber (Licker—{as named in a journal} made the poor creature sound too kewl).  Duo just couldn't understand why these mutated goofs would bother climbing on the ceiling when they are so badly flawed.  He simply stepped over the dead creature and continued on his way to the parking garage.

            "I better call Trowa."   Duo said to himself as he took out the walkie talkie and began to speak.

            **"What?!!?!"**  Trowa's irritated voiced echoed.

            Duo shook the walkie talkie, "Funny, why is it echoing?"

            **"Maybe, BECAUSE, I'm in the restroom---taking a PISS!!!!"**  He voice echoed in an angry tone.  **"Have you found an escape route?"**

            "Uh… no.  I'm heading to the parking lot garage, tho."

            **"Do me a favor and radio WHEN YOU FIND A WAY TO GET OUT OF THIS HELLHOLE!!!"**

            CLICK!

            "'kay…"  Duo quickly put the walkie talkie away.  And continued out the door…

            He entered the Parking Garage.  It was half full. Some police vehicles had their hood up.  They were probably being repaired before the Zombie Madness took over.  He ran towards the garage gate and cursed when he saw that it was locked.  _That's one escape route scratched.  Damm, I have a feeling things are gonna get difficult from here on._ He spoke in his mind. He strolled over to the police van that blocked a path—

            CLANG!!!  Clank!!!  Something from the entrance made a noise!!!!

            Duo raced over to the aisle leading towards the entrance.  He aimed his grenade launcher in every direction he could see.  There was silence.  _Probably a mouse…_Duo assured himself as he turned and headed towards the huge van blocking the door.

            Suddenly Duo heard the sound of someone OR SOMETHING running up behind him.  Duo hastily turned around only to see a fist flying straight towards his tummy---

            "Uh---!!!!"

@@@@@@

Meanwhile Trowa was strolling around the upper floors of the police station. He found the fire escape and decided he should head down to where Duo was.  He was a LITTLE worried about the kid running around but figured---HEY!  Not his concern.  _He's obviously smart if he managed to outlive a WHOLE police force._  He figured.  

As he clambered down the ladder, he heard footsteps AGAIN!!!!  This time it wasn't a tiny boy walking towards him---IT WAS AN 8 FOOT TALL GIANT LUMBERING AFTER HIM!!!!  Trowa tried to jump down the ladder—but the HUGE son-of-a-BITCH grabbed his hands and started to haul him up.

"!!!---!!!!"  Trowa screamed with his legs kicking frantically.  "!!!!!!!!!!"  He locked his long legs around the ladder in an attempt to hold on for dear life….  

"Let…go..of….me, you FREAK."  He growled as he tried pulling away from the Giant's grip……

But it was no use.  Trowa found himself being hauled up and was about to be launched across the station---

"Leave him alone!!!"  Shouted Quatre as he swung a metal bat into the Giant's back----breaking the damn thing in half.  "Oh!"

Distracted by the slight tingle, The Giant dropped Trowa to the floor.  He then, focused his WRATH upon Quatre and took a massive swing at him.  

"This is GONNA hurt!"  He whimpered.

             Trowa suddenly pounced upon the Giant.  He began to pounding his fists into the sides of his head.  "I would say pick on someone your OWN fucking size… but I'm sure Kevin Nash has better things to do..."  

Suddenly, Trowa hoisted his spry body over the Giant's head just as he was about to swat him off.  The Unibanged Wonder took out his enhanced shotgun and aimed, "..!"              

BLAM-O!!!!!

The newly improved seemed to affect him…pushing him back a few feet.

Both Trowa and Quatre just went bug eyed.  "Daaaaaaamn!!!!"  They both went over the railing, landing on the information counter top.  "OW!!!!!"  They both yelled in agony---busting their asses through the once refurbished wooden counter.  Even Trowa wasn't prepared to make such an insane drop.  

The Giant was a tad dazed before he noticed the two victims had escaped. He glared over the railing and sounded a low growl before walking. 

            "Great, he left…"  Quatre groaned, trying to smile.  

            Trowa rolled out of the debris, his heavy ass created, and grunted, "No, Quatre that's NOT great.  He's so big. ---the fall could've KILLED him."  He struggled to his feet and searched for his fallen weaponry. 

            "Like how it NEARLY killed us?"  Quatre returned pulling himself to his feet.

            "….yes."  He gathered all his stuff and headed out.  "Let's go, NOW."

            "Alright!!!"  Quatre cheered as he hurried behind him.  "I'm sticking with you!  We're gonna have SOOOO much FUUUUN!!!!"

            "….?"  He stared.  He slowly shook his head.  _Great, I'm babysitting. Oh bother. Is there NOTHING I can't do? _ He continued to head to the lobby area.  "Please don't do that, AGAIN."

            "…okay."  Quatre replied.

@@@@@@

            Duo's violet eyes, shot open.  _Am I dead!!!!_  He sat up with a start as he peered around the dark, stone walled room. He started to crawl around, until he fell off the desk, head first.

            "OWWW!!!!!  SHIT!!!"  He swore in the darkness, realizing he hit concrete.

            "Would it help if I did this, Officer Maxwell?"  An unfamiliar voice spoke in a robotic manner.  Suddenly the lights in the storage room flicked on.  

A young man stood there staring at him.  He appeared to be Asian (slight features say Japanese) but his blue eyes stood out, mainly because they looked natural.  He was built like a miniature bouncer with his bare arms folded, and his stance seemed unshakable.  He didn't look like the one to piss off…

            Using the side of the desk, Duo pulled himself to his feet and spoke….cautiously, "Uhm….hello.  Hey!!!  How did you know my—"

            "I CAN read, Officer Maxwell." The stranger replied in the same monotone manner glaring at Duo's chest.

            Duo looked down at his chest---_DOH_!!!  **He IS wearing his tag!**  "Oh yeah!  My bad."

            "Hn…"  He walked past Duo and headed down the corridor.  "I'm sorry.  I thought you were another zombie."

            As Duo got ready to follow him---a sudden pain in his tummy struck him.  "Argh! You're the son-of-a-bitch that hit me!!!!  I DON'T look like a zombie!!!"

            The Messy Haired Wonder turned around and spoke, "All the cops in here are—I just figured you were at your early stages." He brushed past him once again.  "Besides, cops don't wear their hair that long."

            "But zombies do?!?!"  Duo retorted following the stranger down the hall.

            "…..?!"  The stranger paused, stopping dead in his tracks.  "Fine, I was a tad hesitant.  Okay?"

            Maxwell nodded.  The stranger swore he heard something rattling then continued his trek down the corridor.

            "Hey!  What's your name?"

            "Why?!"

            Duo snapped, "Dude! I'm an officer of the law and I'd LIKE to know the name of a civilian I plan to protect."

            _Riiiight…. "Fine.  I go by the name: Heero Yuy."  He announced in a non-caring tone.  "Now that I have told you this—I may have to kill you."_

            "Gulp!!!"  Duo stopped walking and staggered back.

            Heero turned around and confessed, "I was joking."  His face remained ever so stone like while saying it---it actually WAS humorous—but Duo wasn't gonna risk his life by laughing in Heero's face.

            As the two survivors turned the corner and entered the jail area, Duo realized that Heero may be the guy Trowa's looking for.

            "Hey, Heero—"

            Suddenly a hand in the neck silenced Duo's chatter----

            "Hic!!!"  Duo gasped sliding to the floor.

            Heero looked back and apologized, "Oh, my bad.  Be quiet.  Something's lurking ahead."

            "…..oh…..kay…" 

            Then suddenly Duo could hear a familiar hissing sound from the jail area around the corner.  It HAD to be one of those Licker-Slobber thingies from earlier.  Obviously they pose no threat.  They kill themselves before anyone else.

            "It's NO biggie!  Heero!"  Duo proclaimed as he fearlessly marched around the corner to face the ill-fated creature.  "They're so stupid.  They hang on the ceilings and fall and----"

            "HZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZSSSSSSS!!!!" Sounded a couple of Lickers crawling towards him.  They looked awfully scary when they are on the floor---ALIVE!

            Heero voiced over Duo's shoulder, "They AREN'T so stupid when they are ALREADY on the ground!"

            Duo staggered back, "Uhm…I know this now…..Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiye!!!!"  he spazzed, only to be knocked aside by Heero.

            "Hn." He hissed to himself, taking out the first Licker with a boot through the head.  The second and third creature came leaping towards him. Heero simply side stepped and allowed the gravity to do the rest.  Both monsters landed upon the floor FACE first—dying instantly. The fourth Licker slashed at Heero, but missed.  The Perfect One just grabbed his claw for a hand and broke it.

            "HAAHSHSHAHSAHSAHSHASSSSS!"  The creature sounded while squirming on the ground in agony…. Until Heero stepped on its face.

            Heero called out for Duo who was hiding behind a water fountain.  "You can come out officer and continue to serve and protect."

            Duo was a tad embarrassed but relieved.  "Oh shut-up!!!  I would've done something, but---"

            "Hn?"

            "Uhm… You PUSHED me!!!"

            "Oh yeah… silly me." He smirked.

            Duo was angry.  He shouted, "You're being sarcastic aren't you?!?!  I'm an officer of the law!!!  I AM protecting you!"

            "I punched you in the stomach and you passed out like a girl.  You LOOK like a girl.  No wonder EVERYTHING chases you!!!"

            "And the spandex and tank top looks intimidating?"

            "Omae o korosu." Heero aimed an assault riffle at Duo.  (This weapon came from where?!?!)

            "Sorry…"  He held his hands up and lied, "Naw dude.  You look badass!  You do!  A monster would have to be fucked in the head to mess with you!"

            "That's better."

            Suddenly Duo's walkie talkie went off.  "**Duo, this is Trowa, I have found a survivor and I am heading towards the underground area**."

            Heero snatched the walkie talkie before Duo could reply.

            "HEY!!!"

            "Silence!"  Heero spoke to Trowa, "This is Heero.  I have located another route to the underground area.  We will meet at point 01-03."

            "…**Roger, Trowa—Over and Out**."

            Heero handed Duo the walkie talkie.  Duo snatched it back.

            "I would ask, but then you'd have to kill me, right."

            Heero stated, "Yes."  Then he said, "I'm looking for someone else, a reporter—you know the type, always looking for a reason to get his ass kicked."

            Duo arched a brow, "Uh… really?"

            Heero frowned, "So I TWEAKED the damn script, Duo---just work with me:  I need you to help me find a reporter named Alex-"

            "I'm right here, officer!"  A voice called out, all the way at the end of the cell area.  

            Heero and Duo raced down the area and found the reporter just chilling upon the cot, with his hands behind his head.

            "Alex, I'm here to torture, beat, interrogate, and finally kill you.  Can you tell me ANYthing about the G-Money virus?"  Heero announced… as if he ordered for coffee.

            Alex sat straight up in his cot and started to panic.  Officer Maxwell shook his head.

            He, non-threateningly, shoved Heero aside, and uttered, "Look, Tough Guy, why don't YOU let ME handle this…. Geez…"  Duo asked Alex, "Listen, there are 2 ass-kicking agents here trying to complete a mission. He's one of them… (AND I think HE'S the meaner one)." He continued hinted towards Heero.  " Could you please tell him what he needs to know about the G-Homey virus---"

            Heero tried to correct him, "That's G—Mone---"

            Duo shoved Heero back even further, "I GOT this, man!"

            "Grrrrr."

            Alex just exhaled, "Since you stated it so nicely.  All I know is on this file.  He walked up to the bars and handed Duo and stack of papers.  "Can you believe this:  The Chief of Police he helped designed THIS goofy-assed police station."

            "OH man!!!  That's horrible!!!"  Heero and Duo gasped.

            "The needless hunt for goofy-looking keys." Heero grumbled, "It wasted so much killing time.  I had to waste bullets just to break through doors."

            "Ugh!!!!  AND all the gawddamn paper work you HAVE to collect!!!!" Duo complained as he stuffed another pack of papers into his file case.  "I hate carrying this shit around.  It's like I'm in school.

            Alex added, "You think that's a mess, try the restrooms."

            Duo grunted, "You mean the mutant cockroach motel?  I don't think the Orkin Man could take 'em."

"Bullets can't take them, either."  Heero added.  "It seem to piss them off."

            Duo focused back on the subject at hand and exclaimed, "Hey!  I gotta get you outta here, Alex!" He searched himself for some keys---GAWD knows he's got a million of them now.  "Hey!  I can't seem to the cell key! Heero?"

            Heero looked at Duo strangely, "That's odd."  He searched himself for some keys… all in his spandex---!!?!?!?owch!!!!  

            Alex just smiled, "Hey!!!  Don't bother, guys!  I have the key!"

            Duo yelled, "Well, come out!  It's dangerous here."

            "Not for me, officer. I'M safe in HERE!  YOU'RE the ones out there with THEM!"

            Heero said nothing, but Duo was about to go through the whole **_'Well, I'm an officer of the law and it is MY duty…'_** dialogue until…

            "ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOARG!!!!!!!"  Sounded something (or someone) far off.

            "Hey!  Get the fuck out of here before you lead it to me!!!"  Alex shouted in fear.  He crawled under the cot and hid.  "Get going!!!"

            "Hn, I'm not staying here.  He'll make the perfect bait for us to make our escape."  Heero took off running out of the cell area leaving Duo and Alex behind.

            "Heero don't run off!!!  Heeeeero!  Waaaaaait!!!!"  Duo called out, running after him.  "Heero, Wait!!!  Running bastard!  Get back here!!!  I'm an officer of the law and it's…"


	6. Things are Starting to get UGLY!!!!

**Chapter 6: Things are Starting to get UGLY!!!!**

**(Don't sue!!! I'm a poor starving student with nothing else better to do!)**

            Trowa decided that his best bet to catching up with Officer Maxwell and Agent Yuy would be to enter the underground level area through Chief Chang's office.  Trowa also figured the best way to get there…. Would be to lace the office with explosives….?!?!?!  

            Quatre, meanwhile, is desperately searching for cookies.  He noticed the Tall Teen connecting wires to lumps of clay.  _Hey!!!  He could at least share!!!_ _I love clay-doh, too!!! _The Blonde Teen said to himself as he gobbled down a stash of shortbreads in the file cabinet.  

"Whatcha doing, Mr. Barton?"  he munched.

            Trowa kept his eye (the other is hidden behind a curtain of hair).  "Nothing, just setting up powerful explosives." He replied.  

            Quatre got up to take a peek behind him, "So why are you using clay-doh?"

            Trowa hissed, "This ISN'T clay-doh." He turned around and got up.  "This is 

C-4.  I am going to blow up the back wall.  Let's go."

            "Oh…. Why does it look like---"

            "…"  Trowa snatched the boy up by his head and headed out of the room.  By the time they were in the lobby area (aka savepoint), Trowa felt it was safe to hit the detonator…  

            "Alright, when I press this button, Quatre, cover your ears and hold on to something…. Like that typewriter and storage bin in the corner over there."  He ordered him.  

            "Okay!"  The boy smiled as he turned to head towards the corner.

            Trowa noticed something….  "Wait a minute!  What's that?"

            Quatre turned around….looking all innocent.  "What, Mr. Barton?"

            "What the hell is that wire coming from your hand?"

            "Oh this?!!" The Blonde Arab giggled nervously, "I just wanted to take some clay with me in case I got bored-----"

            **"YOU DID WHAT?!??!?!"  Trowa yelled.  He rushed over to Quatre and snatched a piece of his handmade bomb out of Quatre's hand.  ****"…!!!"  Trowa left the room; a LOT of swearing could be heard as he stomped down the hallway, probably to reattach everything.  He came back a few minutes later..still looking very pissed. **** "…."**

            Quatre huddled deep into the corner and shook his head, "I won't EVER do that again."

            "…"  Trowa sighed.  He picked up the detonator he placed upon the desk.  He slowly shook his head at the fact he was dumb enough to leave THAT in Quatre's presence and announced, "Okay… I am going to detonate this bomb **I HAD TO REATTACH.  And if you're hiding ****ANYthing else from me, Little Man---then we are ****BOTH gonna blow up."**

            "*Gulp!!!*"  

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

            "Heero!!!!"  Duo called out as he waded through the watery underground passage.  "Where are you!!!  It's me: Duo!!!!  Come out!  Come out!!! Where ever you are!!!!!!"

            Suddenly he heard a thumping noise from above.  He looked up and saw the **biggest fucking spider leering at him.**

            **"That's the biggest fucking spider-----aaAAAaaaaAAAAAyh!!!!"  The Officer of Death screamed as he dove forward avoiding the spider's venomous spray.  He took out his grenade launcher and fired.**

            Unfortunately, the blazing round didn't fire high enough, missing the mutant arachnid by like…..4ft of distance.  Instead the round splashed into the water and made lots of bubbles.

            "WTF kind of goofiness is THIS!!!!  Oh shi--!!!"  Duo swore as he dodged yet another spray of poison from the monster.  This time, he went under and pulled out his handgun….

            When he emerged from the waters, Duo saw the spider drop from the ceiling and go under.  "Oh shit!!! Oh SHIT!!!"  He exclaimed as he went splashing through towards the ledge.  Duo could actually see the spider underwater making his way towards him. He fired several shots at the beast, but there was NO stopping this bastard.  Once Duo reached the ledge, he flipped over and rolled into the wall behind him.

            The mutant spider leaped out of the water and landed upon the ledge!!!  It was soggy, and a bit weighed down, but it was STILL hungry!!!!  He went plodding towards The Braided Wonder in a mad, arachnid dash.

            Out of sheer instinct….perhaps a fond childhood memory, Duo sidestepped the spidery freak and kicked it dead in the…uhm side.  The giant spider went skidding down the concrete walkway and slammed into a pole…leaving a green trail of… stuff behind.

            "I GUESS the steel-toed boots serve SOME purpose after all."  Duo snickered as he turned around to walk off.  He suddenly found himself face-to-face with Heero, who was just standing there with his arms folded looking at him…. Strangely.  "Heero?!?!"

            "I GUESS you haven't REALIZED you just pissed IT off."  Heero announced to Duo as the giant spider got up and with tearing ass towards him. He shoved the unsuspecting cop to the side… mainly into the water and fired 1 Magnum round into its head.

            As Duo regain his footing in the water, he noticed the spider… was everywhere…on the floor or the ledge, along the walls, floating in the water…"Yuck!!!" He looked up at Heero who just stared at him… again, strangely, "You!!!!"  He climbed up from the water and started to rant:  "I was looking all over for you!!!  What you did was stupid, reckless, and… and stupid!!!"

            "I know this, Duo." Heero responded in is usual calm tone.  "Perhaps you'd recall the incident involving a giant spider you **RECKLESSLY and ****STUPIDLY turned your back on—that ****WOULD'VE been eating you—if not for ****ME following ****YOU!!!!"**

            "…"  Duo diverted his eyes, trying to find a comeback…**He failed!!!  "Well!!!  I'm the officer of the law and it is my duty to---"**

            **"Save it, Rookie-Boy."  Heero snapped shoving the officer into a wall with one hand. "****I'M running this!!!" He aimed his gun at Duo and ordered, ****"I'm the special agent here to complete a mission---YOU'RE coming along for the ride!  Either shut-up about it OR you can join your eight-legged girlfriend—splattered ALL over the place!"**

            "!!!!"  Duo's attention was won over.  _There's a gun at my head!  The spider was a girl??!  Maybe it was trying to_----ewwe-----

            **"Officer Maxwell. What will it be?"  Heero growled. He cocked his gun giving Duo one mean death glare.  **

            "Uhm… sure thing, buddy!"  Duo chirped as he started to squeeze his braid dry.  "I was getting tired of the whole officer-bit anyway!"

            Heero nodded before climbing down into the water and walking off.  "Let's go."

            Duo gawked, dropping his Braided Pride and Joy, "Wait, we hafta go back IN the damn water?!?!!"

            "…**Duo**."

            "ALRIGHT!!! **Alright!!!"  Duo obeyed and jumped down into the water, wading behind the bossy civilian.**

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

            Trowa and Quatre walked into the 'torture' room the chief had hidden underground.  They, too, found themselves stepping through liquid…only it was blood.  There were body parts littered all over the floor.  Obviously, the smell of rot was loud and mind-numbing.

            "Trowa…"  Quatre spoke out.  "I think I'm gonna be sick."

            "…ditto."  Trowa nodded.  He noticed a torso lying across a trap door. He kicked it aside and pulled on the latch.  It broke open, blood went splashing all over the lower level.

            "Ack!!!!"  Screamed a familiar voice.  "You impudent fools!!!  Who dares ruins my Armani shirt and slacks!!!!"  Wufei yelled shaking his fist at Trowa.

            "Chief?"  Trowa uttered as he climbed down the ladder.  "You're the sick fuck who made the mess! Don't go bitching at me!!!"

            "What mess?!?!  That's not MY area!!!  I let some weirdo use it for research."  Wufei admitted.  "I never thought he'd be doing all THAT!!!"  He glared up at the opening.  "Who's that?!?!" he glared at Quatre who was climbing down. When he recognized him, Wufei announced, "The madman's kid. Big Surprise."

            Trowa aimed his shotgun at Wufei, "What do you know about Quatre's father?"

            "M-my father?"  Quatre whispered.  "You mean Mr. Trieze??  Where is he?!?!  He's very sick and he needs my help!"

            "He's a monster!  He's the one doing all the yelling!  Your father is the one who made the virus.  Now the Parasol Corp sent these freaks here—messing up my police station!!! INJUSTICE!!!"

            "Quatre's dad is a zombie??"  Trowa looked puzzled.  He turned to Quatre and yelled, "Why the Hell are you looking for him?!?!?"

            "Because… because…"

            Wufei finished for him, "You're an idiot?"

            Trowa snapped, "Shut-up!"  He headed down the walkway and announced, "Let's avoid trying to find him and move on---

            "Pardon Me."  Spoke an elegant voice from behind them.

            All three looked back and noticed a man standing upon the railing.  He was handsome man with light brown hair, wearing a dark blue suit under a white lab coat.  He was also holding a glass of wine….?!?!

            Trowa turned around and aimed his shotgun, "Quatre, Chief!!!"

            "Prof. Trieze!!! You bastard!! What have you done to yourself!!!"  Wufei growled, but he was still stepping back.  "It's the monster!!!  Quick, shot him!!!"

            Trowa arched his visible brow, "What monster?!?"  He said softly.

            "M-Mr. Treize!!!!"  Quatre whimpered, "Oh NO!!!!  It's too late!!! He's a monster!!!"  The Blonde Boy went running towards Trowa.  "Help me!!!!!"

            "?!?!!"  Trowa pushed Quatre aside and yelled, "What friggin' monster!!!  IT'S JUST A GUY!!!!"

            Treize jumped down and slowly walked towards the three.  "Young man, could you give me back my son.  I need him for my experiment.  He's very important to me."

            Sudenly, both the Chief and Quatre were cowering behind Trowa who was STILL puzzled at the situation.  "What-The-Fuck?!?!"

            Wufei yelled, "SHOOT the damn monster, before it eats us!!!!"

            "I don't see any monster, people!!!"  Trowa argued as he continued to stare at Trieze who was getting a tad bit close.  The Unibanged Wonder aimed his shotgun at Treize and grunted, "But I DO see one dead-muthafucker if he DOESN'T back up!!!"

            "Young man…"  Trieze's coy smile soon disappeared and turned into a snarl, **"DON'T PISS ME OFF!!! GIVE ME QUATRE!!!"**

            **"EAT IT!!!"  Trowa fired, BLASTING Treize ALL the way back to the ladder and the railing he emerged from.  "Huh??!!  The Silent Agent gasped as the man quickly got up and dusted himself off… with the wine glass STILL intact!!!**

            "Now things are gonna get ugly!"  Trieze growled as he suddenly ripped the railing off its supports and wielded it towards the three.  "Have at you!"

            Trowa ordered for Quatre to go ahead and escape to the underground passageway.  

Now it was just Trowa, the Chief, and the monster(?!?!!).

            Trowa just glared at Treize,  "Y'know according to the script---You're supposed to be a mutated beast with like this HUGE eye dangling from the side, your flesh is supposed to be all decayed and broken up— **WHY are you fucking things up?"**

            "Dude, shut-Up!!!!  I'm supposed to be dead by now!!!!"  Wufei hissed at Trowa, nudging him in the side.

            Trieze simpered, "Well, HOW could I ruin SUCH perfection???!  I can BE monsterous WITHOUT all the nasty makeup and props!!!  I DON'T HAVE to look ugly to act UGLY—For instance—"

            SMACK!!!!  Treize swatted both Trowa and Wufei into the side rails of the walkway.

            "No warning!  That was rude, wasn't it?"

            "No….."  Trowa grunted as he staggered to his knees, "THAT hurt…."

            "Like a bitch……"  Wufei groaned in pain.  "Injustice…"

            Trieze frowned, "I guess… well I guess this will reveal a more…grotesque side of me…. Take THIS!!!!" He got ready to finish the job and plaster Wufei and Trowa into the surface when he received a blow to the groin….

            **WHOA!!! That did NOT sound RIGHT!!!  **

… More specifically, a hit to the groin…. With a softball bat.

            "Take THAT!!!!"  Quatre yelled as he swung at Trieze again with his trusty gundanium softball bat—hitting him RIGHT in his FUCKING eye!!!! "I won't let you hurt my frinz Trowa and the Chief!!!!!  You NEVER let me have any frinz!!!!"

            "aaaaaaaaaaaaYAYAYAYAH!!!"  Trieze screamed scampering away from the Crazed Blonde Arabian.  "WHAT is YOUR problem, young man?!?!?!"

            Quatre went after him, swinging at his leg!  "You bastard!!!!  Ground ME for 2 months!!! Ima Killya!!! Ima FUCKING KILLYA!!!!!  MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

            Treize managed to get one good swing at Quatre with is railing, knocking him into Trowa and Wufei.  "DAMN!!!! THAT ZERO SYSTEM!!!!!  DAMN YOU PARASOL!!!"  He suddenly ran to the other side and jumped off the platform.

            Now that the threat of Trieze is over, the battered and bruised team had time to gather their wits and hurry to safety.

            Trowa crawled from under Quatre and had to ask, "What was THAT all about?"

            The blonde smiled and replied, "What are you talking about, Mr. Barton?"  He looked down at his hands and noticed the blood covered bat, "Oh dear!  How did THIS get in my hand?"  He tossed it aside and helped the Trowa to his feet.  "I'm so glad you're ok, sir!"

            "?!!?!!?"  _Great!!!!  I have schizoid-babysitting duty.  I wish I stayed home. I wish I stayed in bed.  I wish….._

            Wufei staggered to his feet and hurried towards the exit, leading to the passageway.  "Let's get out of here before that monster shows up again!"

            _WHAT FUCKING MONSTER?!?!?_


	7. Get Your Undead Freak On!

**Chapter 7: Get Your Undead Freak On!**

            Duo and Heero-----Uhm… I mean: Heero and Duo made their way through the underground corridor area.  More nasty-ass waters await them once they go through the disposal area… not to mention more zombies and mutated creatures….

            The Lone Agent suddenly stopped in his tracks.  Duo, being the unobservant one, bumped into him.

            "OW!  My nose!  Are you made of steel?!??!  You---" 

            "Shut-up, Duo.  I hear someone."  Heero raced down the walkway and entered a 3-way intersection.  At the end of the central path, he saw a blonde woman with a gun.  After firing a few shots, hitting the wall, Heero knew full well she was an amateur.  He was going to kill her.

            "Heero!!!!  WAIT!!!"  Duo called out running towards the Perfect Psycho and tackling him.  "Heads up---Unh!!!" he sounded as he fell upon the floor with a lifeless thud.

            Heero climbed from under him.  He was infuriated, "Damnit, Maxwell—I DON'T need you to--- Officer Maxwell?  Duo??!?!"  He flipped him over and slapped his forehead, "Duo, get up—She was a lousy shot and YOU got hit?!?!"  

He noticed the bullet went through his shoulder.  If he was the medical type he could've sworn that he actually missed the major stuff like a joint or vein and just passed through…. "You'll live.  I got to kill her."  Heero placed Duo to the opposite wall and took off after the bad aiming assailant.

            Heero DID catch up to the gunwoman in the treatment area.  However, she had managed to have the upper hand by sneaking up behind him. (How in the HELL??!)

            "So!!!  We finally meet, Heero Yuy!"  Spoke the blonde woman.

            Heero didn't seem intimidated as she walked up around him and pointed a gun to his head.  _Her aim is so fucking bad, she'd miss. Either way, I'm going to kill her._  The Blue Eyed Super Spy thought.

            "…Okay.  Who are you?"

"I am Relena Peacecraft-Kushrenada of the Parasol Corp Bio Labs.  And YOU are the agent sent to steal the G-Honey virus.  I want it back!  NOW!!!"  The blonde's expression was no doubt…. Clueless, for she was too busy checking out the Angel Faced Killa.

"Miss Peacecraft, I don't have the virus known as G-**Money."  Heero corrected during his dull response. "If you were an **observant** person—you'd noticed it's everywhere!"**

She grabbed his upper arm and pushed the gun in his nose.  The sudden movement almost caused Relena to lose her balance and hold of the gun.  Totally unprofessional.  Heero was a tad anxious at this time. 

It's not the pros that are dangerous… it's dumbasses, like Relena, that are capable of MUCH worse damage….

"ALRIGHT!!!!  I know where the virus is!!!" he shouted in annoyance, "Cut it out!"

"OH really!!!?"  She chirped as the gun went sliding up into his eye by mistake.  "Oh, sorry!"  She placed the weapon back at his nose.  "WHERE!!! Apple-Butt!!!"

_What the HELL did she call me?!?_  Heero demanded, "How about telling ME what the hell happened with your husband:  Prof. Treize, Relena!"

The Blonde Professor took a few paces backward, placing a pale hand upon her bossom.  "How dare you!  It is ALL Parasol's fault!!!"  She kept the gun aimed at him as she went into story time….  "Well, Once a Upon a Research Session…."

**FLASHBACK****à Parasol Labs, Somewhere around ****Lemur****City****.******

Prof. Treize had finally finished his infamous G-Money virus.  The Gallant Professor held his 'work of art' up high for the walls and shelves to see.

            "Ah, finally, The G-Money Virus.  I will NEVER let them take you from me."  He finished his sip of wine… which was in the other hand… WHEN SUDDENLY---

            CRASH!!!  Two armored and concealed troopers came barging in the lab. The fancy metal door made a loud clang and several beakers and expensive equipment fell to the floor.

            The aimed their AK-40-somethings at Prof. Kushrenada and announced:  "We've come for the G-Monkey virus!" 

            Trieze took another sip of wine and replied, "It's G-Money Virus, and NO you can't have it!"

            The black clad troopers gawked at each other and shrugged, "Uhm…. Well…. FINE, **Bitch!"  The two, seemingly, intimidating troopers slowly, and sadly turned around, heading out of the lab….  "Man… we're gonna get it for sure…."**

            Just then, the Professor's wife: Relena Peacecraft-Khushrenada rushed into the scene.  She screamed, "Oh no!!!  Invaders!!!  I'll get them!!!"

            Relena snatched one of the automatic weapons from a trooper and let loose with a spray of bullets….  Of course the troopers ducked.  Trieze didn't…

            The bullets hit his precious vile of G-Money, splashing it all over his designer labcoat….  It was RUINED.  (None of the bullets hit HIM, but it was painful enough…)

            "Oops!!!"  Relena gasped.  

            "…."

            Noticing a rather PISSED expression on Trieze' face, the troopers had one word to say: "Shit!"  They took off.

            Relena dropped the assault weapon.  Another wave of bullets went flying everywhere, tearing his once flawless labcoat in to confetti. The bullets also hit several viles and bottles causing the 'stuff' to splash all over the remains of his labcoat and the suit underneath. (STILL not a single bullet hit Trieze..?!?!  What is he?!?  Fortune from MSG2?!??!)

            "….GRRRRRRrrrrrr!"

            Relena stopped in her tracks and concluded, "Hold on, Darling!  I'll get something for that stain!"  She took off.

            A loud roar sounded from within the labs, **"Yooooooooou silly biiiiiiiitch!!!!"**

END OF FLASHBACK 

            "…And that's how Trieze's rampage got started…"  Relena said gravely, lowering her head…. Awaiting a reply.  She got it.

            Heero blinked.  He took a deep breath and uttered calmly, **"You silly bitch.  YOU'RE the reason he's spread this fucking virus all over this place!  Parasol didn't do anything.  YOU caused all this!"**

            _The usual response.  **"How DARE you!!!"  **She pulled the trigger.  No fire, tho'.  "Oh?!?!  Uhm…. Oh my!  I think it's jammed----**OOOOPH**!!!"_

            Heero tackled Relena, knocking her into a railing.  Due to her being just plain GOOFY she flipped over the railing backwards and fell….. somewhere down below.  A few seconds later,  Heero heard a splash…. 

             "I better finish the job." He sighed.  Heero looked around for a way down…

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            At the beginning of the sewer maze, Trowa, Quatre and Wufei found themselves at a crossroads…

            "Dudes… I don't know about you guys… but I'll be damned if I go walking in that shit."  Trowa confessed to the other two.

            Wufei sighed, "Man, I think I'm better off dead…  Injustice…."

            Quatre scratched his blonde head, "The monsters could be hiding in there.  They'll get us for sure!"

            "It's not the monsters that bother me, Kid…. It's the shit that's floating around…" Trowa spoke.

            Wufei nodded, "We are going to WREAK of shit… this sucks SO much **fucking injustice…."**

            SUDDENLY the sounds of large footsteps approached from the cement ledge up above and behind them.  It was The Giant!!!!  He stepped out into the open walkway and looked out towards the sewer entrance… and spotted them!

            "…… UH!!!"  Wufei gasped.  "Who the FUCK is that?!?!"

            "RUN!!!" Trowa took off splashing through the mucked up waters and headed for the gate. He shouted, "It' s The Giant!!! Let's get the fuck outta here!!!"

            "AAAAAAAck!!!" Quatre screamed latching onto Trowa---not even slowing him down.  In fact the Lanky Lad didn't even notice.

            Wufei called out as he took off running, "I'm supposed to be dead! I have NOTHING to do with this!!!"

            Trowa informed him, "Stay with him, and he'll make sure you ARE!!!"

            "!!!"

        SLAM!!!

            The 3 Lemur City Survivors are NOW in the sewers…

            Wufei stared downward, glaring at the waist high murky waters. "We are in the sewers…*FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!*  (*=Chinese Language).

            "Let's be positive!!!"  Quatre chirped… his chest barely above the water.  "We'll, call it: The Underground Waterway."  (?!?!?)

            "…" Both men ignored Quatre and continued to move through the 'waterway'.  

The Boyish Wonder frowned as he stayed close to the wall, lagging behind.

            "Okay… Lil Guy, listen up, just stay close to us and you MAY survive this."  Trowa instructed Quatre who was still splish-splashing behind.

            Wufei added, "And if you see ANY mysteriously floating 'chocolate bars'…."

            "DON'T EAT THEM!" Both Trowa and Wufei shouted.

            "Okay…"  Quatre replied suddenly moving away from a random, mysteriously floating 'chocolate bar'.  It looked funny tho'.  It had corn in it…  "Ewe!!!  You mean it's-----oh shit, guys???!!!" Quatre was in trouble, but it wasn't due to the floating 'poo bar'….His foot was caught in something…

            "Riiight!"  Trowa and Wufei sounded back to Quatre.  "It's shit!!!"

            "Hel----aaaaayh!!!!"  Quatre sounded as he was suddenly pulled under…

            The suction noise called the guys attention to look behind them….  There was no one there!!!  Except the corn-infested turd floating around…EWE!!!

            "!!!!"  Trowa gasped.  Braving the water, he went sloshing back to locate Quatre.  He also made sure to avoid the turd.  "Oh my gawd!!!  The kid's missing!!!!"  Something's got him!!!!  WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK!!!??"

            "Trooooooo-----!!!!!"  Quatre's scream was halted by a heavy splash.

            Wufei shouted, "Trowa Barton, calm down! Your panic attack is of no help.  Let's find a way down there."

            "Right!!" The Lone Legged Stranger took a deep breath and exhaled.  "Shit, who am I kidding!!! I gotta save him!!!"

            Trowa was going ballistic as he went racing through the waters past the Chief.   _Wufei__ is a grown man, who obviously has skills for survival---after all he's a police chief! _And he's armed with a sword?!?!_  Trowa discussed in his mind._

_However Quatre is just a little boy stuck in the middle of a real life horror movie… more like a cheesy B-Movie. Possibly armed with a hidden, infinite supply of gundanium softball bats??!!  He hoped._

He was responsible for **this** civilian----_It's not that I care-CARE, but…_  _How can I call myself professional at ANYTHING when I can't even protect a child!_  He thought to himself.  Besides being a human handkerchief for Quatre, Trowa realized that the twerp looked up to him. _Having a possible whack jobs for parents, I probably shine compared to them. _Heh__, could he do any worse??!?!__


	8. Turtle Power!!!

**Chapter 8: Turtle Power!!!**

            Duo awoke with a stir… he heard sudden footsteps heading towards him…  His vision was so blurry from the 'massive' (riiiight) blood loss of such a vicious bullet wound.  He sat up and looked at his arm. "Suh-Weet!!!  I got a bullet wound!!!  Won't Hilde be proud!!! Cuz baby, I'm a thug!!!"

            "What the Hell are you talking about?"  Trowa asked hoisting Officer Maxwell up against the wall.  "Who shot you?"

            Duo was about to answer when he noticed the Chief of Police standing behind him, "Uh…. Aren't you suppose to be dead?!"

            Wufei snorted, "YEAH!  Answer his damn question!!!"

            Duo stood straight and saluted, "Yessir!"

            "… (What the Fuck are you doing?!?!?)" Wufei mumbled before walking off.

            Trowa repeated, "WHO shot you?"

            Duo groaned, "Some silly bitch!  I think she was aiming for Heero... or the wall."

            "Heero?!?!"

            Duo nodded.

            "I have to ask you something:  Have you seen a little boy?"

            "No dude."

            "…"  Trowa frowned. "I wonder if Heero knows…"  He headed down the center walkway.

            Wufei announced, "Judging from the smell of _'underground waterway' he probably headed down here, Barton."_

            Trowa nodded.  He followed Wufei down the path.

            Duo shouted back, "Oh yeah, leave the wounded Officer Duo Maxwell do die from his MASSIVE BULLET WOUND.  Fuckers!!!"

            Trowa tossed a couple of band-aids at Duo.  "Stop your bitching and the infection, sissy-ass!"

            **SLAM!!!!**

"Your momma…"  Duo huffed.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

            Heero climbed down the ladders into the REALLY lower Underground Waterway.  He spotted a little blonde boy, lying unconscious, upon a pile of trash in the middle of the pool.  He walked towards the ledge, to jump into the water.  His eye caught the sight of very large bubbles surfacing….

            "Hn????"  he took out his gun, and stared at the water.  He started to back away when he noticed that it wasn't JUST the filth that was making the water seem dark… but a LARGE form…

            Suddenly it reared its HUGE ugly head and roared!!!!

            "HN!!!"

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            Duo finally started down the walkway and entered the pipe room and noticed there was no bridge!!!  WTF?!??!

            He peered over the railings and spotted Trowa and Wufei already two levers down.  "You assholes!!!  You destroyed the bridge!!!"

            Trowa looked up and stated, "No, we just climbed down.  I don't have time for that item collecting shit!"

            "Hey!!!  Do I LOOK like  the FUCKING Amazing Spider-Man??!"  Duo yelled back!  "Give me SOMETHING!!!!"

**{AUTHOR'S NOTE:** **Spider-Man is owned by Marvel—NOT me!!!}**

            Wufei looked at Trowa. The Silent Agent nodded then he snatched a nearby valve wheel and launched that sucker straight at Duo's head.  They walked off, exiting through another door.

            "Yipe!!!!"  Duo shouted as he ducked.  However, the wheel hit the wall and bounced off, hitting Duo in the back of the head.  "OW!!!!  DAAAAAMNIT!!!"

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

            Trowa and Wufei strolled down along the cement walled and metal floored corridor.  At the end of the second turn, they found their way to another large gate…

            Trowa looked at Wufei.  Wufei nodded.  With a swift Karate kick, the switch box was destroyed, and the switch was smashed in.

            It seems as thought they found the area that Quatre had fallen into.  It looked like the disposal area.  This place was filled with dark, murky water, and garbage…medical waste of some sort. 

_Probably where Parasol keeps their dirty secrets_…  Trowa figured.

            "Mr. Barton!  Look!  It's Quatre!"  Wufei pointed.  "And some guy…?!"

            Trowa looked across the waste room.  "Quatre… Heero?" he arched his brow noticing their 'odd' behavior.

            Both Quatre and Heero were glued to the wall by the ledge.  They looked terrified.  Neither said a word.  They just gestured for Trowa and Wufei to shut-up.

            "What's wrong with you two?!?!"  Wufei shouted.  "Don't tell me to be silent!!!  I am Wufei Chang!!!!  Chief of Police!!!"

            Trowa instantly silenced the Chief of Police, "Dude, shut-up!!!"  He looked towards the frightened boy and asked, "Quatre?  Are you okay?"  He glared at Heero.  "Did he threaten to kill you?"

            Quatre shook his head in a frantic gesture.  He and Heero tried gesturing the two to NOT go in the water!!!

            Heero pointed at the water.  Quatre shook his head continuously.

            Trowa didn't get it.  ALL of the water down here was filthy.  What makes this water so different?  So he'll smell a little MORE funky.  "It's not big deal.  We're coming to get you----"

            "FOR gawds sake!!! Stay out of the gawddamn water!!!!"  Heero shouted.

            Suddenly, the massive creature reared its HUGE and disgusting head out of the water and snapped at Trowa and Wufei.  The Dragon Chief of Police jumped out of the monster's path and into the water.  Trowa flipped back, avoiding the creature's beaked jaws!!!

            "A giant Snapping Turtle?!?!"  Wufei shouted as the climbed up the ledge with Heero and Quatre.  "Who keeps thinking this crazy shit up?!!"

            They both just shrugged.

            Trowa went racing down the passage way as the giant turtle went… creeping behind him at full lethargic speed.  Trowa ran around another corner and came across a storage bin filled with oxygen tanks.  _What the hell??!?!  _Trowa kicked the gate open and snatched one of the tanks up.  He went racing back to the Giant Snapping Turtle who was STILL climbing onto the gateway ledge…. _Geez_…

            Trowa gripped one end of the tank and swung it at the turtle's head.  BAW!!! He knocked the HELL out of that thing!!! The watery beast slumped downward, sinking into the water.

            Heero, Wufei, and Quatre all just stared at each other, puzzled.

            Trowa dropped the tank into the water and huffed, "What?!?"

            Heero uttered, "I don't know, I was expecting something showier."  He gave a slight shrug and continued, "… like stuffing the tank down his throat and then shooting it---"

            Wufei nodded, "Causing it to explode.  Right?"

            Heero agreed "Exactly.  Or at least, go all out, shooting the thing in the eye."

            Quatre shuddered, "Gross!  Why not put it to sleep---- with tranquilizers!"

            Wufei added, "Then stuff it full with a bunch of tanks…"

            "We don't have to kill it!!!  It's a rare creature---"

            Heero supported Wufei, "And shoot one of the tanks to trigger the others…. Causing a gory explosion.  Not to mention the structural damage that could cause.  That'll leave a message to Parasol that you're hardcore."

            "I got a suggestion: **kiss my blooming ass!" Trowa snapped, "Shut the hell up!  I saved ALL of your sorry asses.  I'm NOT wasting bullets on a freaking turtle!!!"**

            Taking a giant leap, Trowa landed upon the half sunk shell of the turtle.  Then he made another huge jump onto the ledge.  Overjoyed Quatre couldn't help but get…. sappy.

            "Trowa!!!  You saaaaaved me!!!!"  he sniffled…. Then cried…. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!"  He started the snotworks AGAIN!!!

            "Get off of ME!!!" Trowa grunted as he tried to peel the child off his vest.

            Wufei and Heero gave each other a weird look.  Trowa felt like dying.  Quatre couldn't be happier.

            "How cute."  Heero commented with a smirk as he headed towards the ladder leading up.

            Wufei gagged, "Disgustingly cute."

            "Shut…. Up….. I hate you ALL!!!"  Trowa sounded, grinding his teeth. "Quatre you are SO tempting me to snap your neck—get off!!!"

            Quatre, finally letting go of Trowa stated, "He's like the big brother I always wanted!  He's SO kewl!"

            "..."  Trowa replied as he walked towards the ladder, trying to hide a smile. _I certainly am._

            Heero uttered, "He would've been even cooler if he'd blown up the turtle."

            _Asshole.___

            "This is true..." Wufei nodded waiting to climb. "It's like he was rushing into battle and then rushing out of it…"

            "I know, right?!" Heero added.

_Asshole Supreme. Trowa snapped, "Will you two shut the fuck up about that!!!? Gaw!"  He decided to change the topic, "What about Officer Maxwell?" He asked.  "Isn't he YOUR responsibility?"_

            Heero's climbing stopped, "Oh shit my zombie bait---er.. the civilian!!!"  he gasped. 

            Wufei snorted, "Wait a minute…. Did he say zombie bait?"

            Quatre blinked, "What's zombie bait?"

 Heero jumped down, several feet, to the ledge surface.  "I guess I should go get him.  Pity, I didn't find Relena."

            "You found my mom!!!?"  Quatre gasped.

            "YOUR MOM?!?!"  They all exclaimed.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

            Duo was a bit pissed at the fact he had JUST gotten down from the upper level, using the valve method.  However, he was not willing to risk breaking his neck, flipping and jumping down, like Trowa and Wufei._ They can play High Flying Space Monkeys---not ME.  The French Braided Terror thought. __Shiiiit._

            He started to stroll down the dark and smelly walkway.  He heard an odd creeping noise, but it didn't phase him any.  As he got closer, Duo realized the noise was heading toward him.  When he turned the corner, he noticed it was pitch black further down.

            He looked to his left a spotted a compartment for tanks.  The gate was opened and it looked like someone had stolen a tank.  I wonder what for.  

            Duo stopped in his tracks when he observed something weird about this black void in the corridor…. Like movement.  He rubbed his eyes and stared at the blackness again—Oh shit something's coming out of it!!!!  

            It was the giant snapping turtle!  After the rest of the survivors left the scene, the beast probably decided to get a move on through out the area.  Unfortunately, for Duo, now that the turtle was within the spacious corridor, it could move faster!  It unexpectedly it went sliding towards Duo at full speed.

            Duo, honestly, didn't know what to do.  A big, black, slimy something gliding towards him at full speed seems pretty shocking. He backed away only to slam again the wall, and started screaming.

            Heero snatched him out of the turtle's way.  The beast crashed through the wall and slowly started turning the whole shell to face Heero and Duo. 

            "I just can't leave your goofy ass anywhere, can I?"  Heero muttered as he lifted Duo up.

            "Hey!  You're back!"  Duo smiled.  He looked at the giant turtle shell.  "A giant turtle? That's messed up!"

            Heero grunted, as he lifted a huge oxygen tank, "You're telling me."  

            Soon the turtle revealed its head and its neck extended towards the two. It roared!  Duo went to running.  Heero stood his ground. He instantly launched the oxygen tank into the creature's mouth. He took off running behind Duo.

            Gagged, but not out, the Shelled Reptilian Freak pushed itself off the wall and went zooming towards Heero and Duo. It was quickly gaining up on Duo, for Heero raced past him a (long) while ago.

            The loud, but muffled roar of the snapping turtle was getting louder and louder.  Duo kept running.  He couldn't understand why Heero was just standing there, at the end of the corridor, with a gun aimed at him.  Uh… wait a minute…

            "Ack!!!"  Duo ducked as Heero opened fire,

            SHA-BOOOOOOOOM!!!!!  Went the turtle, body and shell.  Black and gooey guts and parts were flying everywhere.  

            Duo went flying through the air "aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa-!!!"  

            _Hn__. This is gonna hurt… "Hn---Ooph!!!"  The Silent Human Body Cushion grunted when Duo's body crashed into him. __I SO-did-not-think this out.   _

Both went slamming into a wall.  "Unffff!" They sounded, sliding down the wall… Looney Tunes style.


	9. When Noblemen Attack--Part 2!!!

**Chapter 9:  When Noblemen Attack--Part 2!!!**

Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre arrived at the elevator car tram thingie.

Having the Chief of Police DID have its advantages after all.  Sure, Wufei nags and calls Trowa and Quatre weak all hours of the night---but the guy has ALL the keys in the area!  They didn't have to search for anything!  Wufei even had the keys to ALL the vending machines!!!

As soon as they entered the underground elevator car, Quatre noticed something wrong…. His stomach….

Wufei was at the controls, leaving Trowa to tend to Quatre.  Trowa DID notice The Blonde Wonder was acting rather odd, especially when he passed off the cookies in the various locales!!!  AND QUATRE LOVES COOKIES!!!!

Trowa sat across from the little boy and asked, "What's wrong Lil' Guy?"

Quatre groaned, "It's…. my stomach…. It hurts… REALLY bad."

Wufei overheard Quatre's reply and responded, "Who knows what else was down there, Barton---Do you think Trieze got a hold of him before any of us got down there?"

Trowa didn't want to think that Trieze may have had the upper hand.  It could result in Quatre's death or worst.  This would mean Trowa screwed up! This would mean he sucks!!!

The Green-Eyed Agent shrugged it off.  "Maybe you accidentally swallowed the water, huh, Kid?"

Quatre shook his head hastily and shouted, "NO, frigging WAY!!!!  There's something inside my tummy, Trowa!!!  I-I don't…. ooooooooow!!!"  He laid down upon the bench and started to groan.  "I think…. Mr. Trieze WAS down there…. I could hear his voice…. He was laughing---"  Quatre gasped,  "Trowa,  he's infected me!!!"

"We need to get him to the labs fast!" Trowa shouted. "Chief?"

Wufei assured him, "It'll take a while but we'll get there quicker than Heero and Duo.  I have the keys so all we need to do is get there.  The vaccine is as good as yours, so long as I'm here."

            (Foreshadowing is a bitch—ain't it?)

            Trowa sat next to Quatre and patted his head, "Did you hear that, kid?  You're going to be okay."

            **BAAAM!!!!  Something landed upon the car.**

            Wufei looked up and muttered, "As soon as we handle THAT."

            The Tiny Blonde sat up and gasped, "My father!!!  Trowa, Wufei!!!  He's gonna get me!!!"

            Trowa pulled Quatre towards him just as a giant pole pierced through the side next to them.  Seconds later, the same pole went piercing through the opposite side.  This ended up right in front of Trowa and Quatre.  He took out his shotgun and placed the boy to the ground.  

Wufei moved away from the controls when the same damn pole goes piercing after him through the window. The assault lasted for several minutes and ended once Trowa got a good shot.

            The two men and one boy found themselves standing in the middle of the transport car, awaiting the next attack.  Suddenly, there was a loud beep.  Trowa aimed, Wufei pushed the gun upward.

            "It's the shut-down alarm.  If we don't deal with Treize, NOW, this car will stop."  The Solitary Chief of Police informed Trowa.

            Quatre latched onto Trowa's arm and whimpered, "I don't want you to go!  I don't want anyone of you to go!"  Suddenly the pain kicked in again, "OOooooooOOOw!  Oh!  NEVERMIND---KICK that bastard's ass!!!"

            "Will do."  Trowa smirked.  "I promise I won't let that creepy dad of yours get a hold of you ever again."

            Wufei snorted, "Yeah, yeah! Can we end the BARNEY moment and get this over with!?"

            "…"

            Trowa and Wufei stepped out, leaving Quatre inside, where it was sorta safe.

            With all the chaos Trieze was causing, you'd think he'd just be out in the open.  The two survivors stepped all the way around the car.  Fortunately, it was still moving towards its destination.

            "Maybe he left?"  Wufei contorted his face in confusion.  "He wanted to scare us."

            "Maybe, it's a trap—to get Quatre!"  Trowa hissed.  He took off running back towards the door. 

            "You're probably right---"

**        BAM-O!!!!  Trieze landed right in front of Trowa. No idea where all that deafening sound effect came from when Trieze landed ever-so-gracefully on one foot.**

            "What did you do to Quatre—you sick bastard!?!?!"  Trowa yelled taking aim with his shotgun.  "Tell me!!!"

            Trieze smiled, "Oh wasn't that monstrous enough?" He took a huge piece of railing from the car and went to swinging. "I did what any man of science would do---sacrifice.  If you don't like it---Come with it then!"

            "!!!  Is that the ONLY weapon you're capable of using!?!?"  Trowa flipped out of the way of Treize's attack.  He fired his shotgun the second he landed.

            Trieze staggered back a few feet.  Then he went running at Trowa and tackled him into the side of the car—making a dent.  "You're one to talk 'Shotgun Stu'!!!"  As Trowa popped out of the dent and fell to the floor, Trieze stood over him and taunted, "I'd use my sword, but SOMEONE wouldn't stand a ghost of a chance…. Right, Wufei?"

            "Ch!  Bastard!!!" Wufei attacked Trieze from behind, kicking him square in the center of his back. Trieze seemed undaunted as he turned around, lifted Wufei up by his face and tossed him into the railing towards the edge.

            "Oh YOU ARE here?!  What a shock?  Sure you don't want to be inside the car HIDING?!?!" Treize smiled.

            "Argh!!!" Seeing an opportunity, Trowa clotheslined Trieze from behind, slamming him into the floor. The Monster Gentleman rolled from under Trowa.  He spun his body upon the floor, kicking the Tall Teen in the head, sending him flying towards the rails—backside first.  "Ack!  My spine!!!"

            Trieze flipped to his feet only to catch the blade of Wufei's sword with his fingers. He swatted the sword out of The Chief's hand and palm smashed him in the nose!

            "Hmph!!!"  Trieze teased, "You should stick to desk work, Chang!"

            Wufei was steamed.  He jump kicked His Insanity in the neck.

            "Ack!!!!"  Treize choked.  "My neck!!!"

            Just then Trowa grabbed Trieze from behind and supplexed him. The Evil Professor didn't like this one bit.  His hair was a mess!!!  Treize got up and tackled Trowa to the floor. Both clobbered, jabbed, and body slammed for all it was worth.

They were right in front of the car door.  As Trowa and Trieze continued fighting, Quatre opened the door….

            "Oh!"  He exclaimed when Trieze got slammed into the door by a nasty shoulder tackle.

            "Huh?!?!"  Trowa and Trieze gawked---then they continued to kick each other's ass….

            UNTIL…Wufei snatched Trieze off and threw him aside. Then he went after The Noble Madman.  As Trowa staggered back to his feet he noticed that Trieze's fight with Wufei didn't seem NEARLY as intense as the one he'd just gone through….  Trieze was suddenly blocking all of Wufei's punches and kicks, while slowly backing towards the edge of the walkway….

            Trowa suddenly called out, "Wufei!!!  Get away from him—He's setting you up for----"

            It happened.  

"Ha!" Trieze grabbed Wufei, instantly spinning him around and held him by the neck. He had Wufei in a head lock and slowly backed towards the edge.  Trowa ran towards them both.  But Treize took a slo-mo leap upon the top rail, still holding Wufei in his arm and taunted:  Don't worry; we'll see each other again…." Trieze stepped back and went falling with Wufei in his grasp.  "..And it won't be pleasant!" he concluded.

            "!!!  Oh!  Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii……"  Wufei's voice echoed out. 

No other sounds were heard.  Trowa rushed towards the edge and peered downward.  "Chief?!?!?"  He remained frozen, staring down at the endless blackness. "Chief?!?"  _Oh fucking great!!!  I lost the Chief of Police!!!  Quatre's probably infected.  And we seem to go further and further down----are we going to HELL?!? "FUCK!!!!"_

            "Mr. Trowa?"  Spoke a familiar voice.

            Trowa turned around and uttered, "I… lost…. The Chief… He took him…"

            Quatre stood next to Trowa, now his only friend, "It's ok, Mr. Trowa.  I'm still here…"

            "Yeah…." He mumbled. _But for how long?  If I don't find this vaccine you're gonna start nibbling at my kneecaps …_

            "I promise to not cause you anymore trouble, sir."  Quatre promised, smiling up at his 'big brother'. "We'll find Mr. Chang together, okay?"

            He actually smiled… and it didn't look scary.  "Agreed." Trowa patted the boy on his head and lead him back to the transport car.  "Let's get inside.  We should be at our destination soon." _I can't BELIEVE that son-of-a-bitch took Wufei—the bitch had ALL the damn keys.  I might need Heero and Duo's help after all…_


	10. Police Brutality---Yuy Style

CHAPTER 10: Police Brutality---Yuy Style

            Heero and Duo stood at the transport car's EMPTY lot.  Trowa and the gang beat them to the car!  The only solution to the problem besides self-detonation (Heero's suggestion---for the past half hour) was to find the transport key.  NO---THEY REALLY NEED TO FIND THIS KEY.  THERE'S NO CAPPING A WAY OUT OF THIS MESS…

            "I am SERIOUSLY considering blowing this place up…." Heero growled, stepping back inside the office.

            "Nice idea… I'm sure everyone one else would prefer NOT to be around when you do it…. Duh!"  Duo mumbled as he search the storage bin for a key.  "Why are these bins ALWAYS next to a typewriter?"

            Heero shrugged.  He walked towards the exiting door and uttered,  "I'm going to FIND the key."

            Duo looked up from behind the opened bin, "There are zombies out there, man.  Are you gonna MAKE them give you a key?"

            "…Yes."

            "Uhm… Heero?"

            "What?"

            "You're stupid."

            "WHAT?!?"

            "Nothing, Gawd's Speed!"

            Heero stepped out into the Survival Horror.  He already heard the moans and groans of the zombies.  They instantly sniffed out the live flesh entering the gruesome scene and were on the move. Heero could care less… (cuz baby hez a thug…)

            **Half an hour later.**

_Hn…If I were a VERY important item: where would I be?_  He thought to himself.  

As Heero turned the corner a police zombie reached out for him.  Heero instantly served the ghoul a fierce (Street Fighter Guile-Styled) backfist to the face, knocking it's head clear off it's body.  Without even looking at the damage he'd caused, Heero continued walking down the dark corridor.

_ANYway.  Where could that key possibly be?  I rhymed… That was so lame._  Heero frowned.

Just then, another zombie police officer came lurching down the corridor towards him.  Heero, without even looking took out his Magnum and fired.  The zombie was dead, for the zombie had no head. (Doh!!!)

_Hn.  Being that it IS an important item. It's probably in the most stupid of all places…_ As Heero entered another room, he found himself surrounded by a dozen police zombies.  This time, The Perfect Agent, was ready (Huh?!). Grabbing the closet thing next to him: A typewriter… Which was oddly placed near a storage bin. 

Gee, _Duo has a point. _ Heero thought just before smashing the typewriter into one zombie's face. He elbowed the second rushing zombie in the neck.  Both creatures were out of the game.  The third came towards Heero's right, only to come in contact with the typewriter stand through the torso.  The one on Heero's left grabbed hold of his arm and tried to bite down…. It tried.

            He was apparently too decayed to break skin or even support the weight of teeth as the rotted things went sliding out of his mouth.  Heero and the zombie just gawked at each other.

            "Hn?"

            "u-urg?"

            "Lucky me."  Heero uttered as he hauled the zombie off the floor and slammed him through the storage bin.  His body just went everywhere.  Heero did a fatality.  Scorpion would be proud! **(MK and Scorpion are owned by Midway—not me!). ** "Gross…" Heero frowned wiping the drool off his arm.  "Damn!"

            Heero took a quick glance around and spotted something shiny in the wall.  It looked like a key!  As he approached the wall, Heero realized that this HAD to be the key—because it was in such a STUPID location… ALL the way BACK in the Police Station--- on a RANDOM wall.

            However, Heero also noticed there was a catch to this.  Apparently he had to light up some switches in the opposite wall.  According to poem etched underneath the key.  If he lit the lamps in the right order he would be able to---

            **SMASH!!!!** Heero's hand went through the wall and snatched out the key.

            "I don't have time for this shit…"  Heero grunted.  He headed out of the room when he heard footsteps…. Very heavy footsteps….

            "This… can't be… good…." Heero suddenly passed out.

            **Another half hour later.** **Back at the underground transport office.**

            Duo sat upon the control desk and waited… waited… snored…

            **SLAM!!!!**  Went the door across the room from Duo.  The Dynamic One shot straight up!  It was Heero Yuy!  He was alive, and panting!

            Duo jumped off the desk and raced over to him.  "Dude!  Did you get the key?"

            Heero just stared into space…. Mortified.

            "Heero!!!?"

            "…"

            "Agent Yuy?!?!"

            "…"

            "Heer---OW!!!"  Duo reacted when Heero suddenly screamed and punched him square in his face.  He staggered back and yelled, "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU HIT ME FOR!!?!?!?"

            Heero blinked then he looked at Duo.  His expression went from blank to mildy blank.  "Oh I'm sorry, I thought you were another zombie."

            "WHAAAAAAaaaaaAAAt!!!!!?"  Duo yelled aiming his grenade launcher at Heero.  "I thought we went over this!!!!  I have the hair!!!!  I'm the ONLY one with the HAIR!!!!"

            "I thought they were onto your clever rouse." Heero replied blankly.  

            "SHUT-UP!!!  THIS IS MY HAIR!!!! THIS ISN'T TRICKERY!!!!"  Duo screamed to the top of his lungs!  "I walked up to you and said 'Heero!' not 'Roooooar!!! I'm a zombie----OW!!!"

            Heero punched Duo again… looking all blank-faced.  He blinked and realized he had made a mistake, "You were so convincing just---"

            Duo kicked him in the jaw. Heero just staggered back.  He pushed Duo (one-handedly) into a wall and stood over him.

            "Have you gone mad?!?!  WHY did you kick me?!?!"

            Duo shook the stars out of his head and replied with a growl, "YOU hit ME AGAIN!!!  ASSHOLE!!!"

            Heero blinked, "No, I did not!  You're imagining things.  Why are you on the floor?"

            _Has he lost his bleeping mind??!!?_  Duo gawked at Heero and slowly got up from the floor.  "Are… you ok?"

            "What… what are you talking about…" Heero replied with this straight-faced expression.  Suddenly he went stupid, "Oh my gawd a zombie cop!!!"  Heero lunged after Duo.  

            "aaaack!!!"  Duo ducked and took to running towards the now up leveled transport car.  "You're a fucking zombie!!!  I knew SOMETHING was wrong with you!!!"

            "Aaack!  A Zombie!!?!?  Where?!?!"  Heero screamed in monotone.  "Oh! NO!!!  Duo!!!  You're a zombie!!!  I have to kill you!!!"  He took out his magnum and starting capping.

            As they ran out into the loading area, Duo had all sorts of places to run and hide, but it didn't help when he's running from the best…  Heero starting firing, and bullets went bouncing all over the metal beams and walls.  Duo was grazed several times while ducking for cover around the transport car.

            "Must… kill…. Zombie… cops…." Heero chanted.  He pulled the trigger of his high powered gun, but NO BULLETS flew out.  "Must reload… must… kill… Officer… Duo… Maxwell…zombie cops… beeeef…" He continued his mindless rant.

            Duo peered out from behind the car and spotted Heero taking out the bullets to reload.  He knew he could NOT survive another round.  All the scratches----er wounds he's receiving from Heero's assault could add up and make him…. Dizzy.  Taking out his trusty grenade launcher he stepped out and slowly started walking towards Heero.

            Suddenly Duo began to run.  He held the massive gun upward and charged at the unsuspecting and insane Heero. Duo released a roar!

            "Hn!"

            **BOM!!!  **Duo smashed Heero over the head with the grenade launcher.  Heero skidded across the floor a few feet and slammed into the door of the office. Heero lay slumped over, lifeless, against the door.

            Duo collapsed to the floor.  He was a bit upset that he had to kill his newfound friend, but relieved at the fact he didn't waste ammo doing it.  He struggled back on his feet and flexed his sore arms.  Pistol-whipping with a heavy weapon can wear the limbs out.

            Without warning, Heero sat up and picked up his Magnum, and a bullet that JUST HAPPENED to be there.  Duo heard the gun being loaded, and looked over to see that Heero WASN'T DEAD!!!  

            "Must… kill… you..." Heero worded from a distance.

            "I can't let you do that!"  Duo yelled. He quickly picked up the Grenade Launcher.  

Heero loaded the ONE bullet and aimed.

            **BOOM!!!  **

**BANG!!!!!**  

Both fired.  Both got hit.  But only ONE went flying through a door and into the opposite wall in the office… (My money's on Heero.)

            "Oh SHIT!!! I got shot I really got---Uuuuuunhhhgaaaa!!!"  Duo passed out, after looking at his bloody arm….


	11. All GOOD Zombies go to Heaven---NOT!!!

**CHAPTER 11: All GOOD Zombies go to Heaven---NOT!!!**

            In the few short minutes that it took for the transport car to reach to lower level, Quatre had become weaker, almost lethargic.  He became pale (really?!) and was going in and out of unconsciousness.  Trowa had to carry the boy out of the car and into the nearest area: the lower transport office.

            He laid the Blonde Boy upon the cot and sat beside him as he woke up again and probably for the last time.  Quatre took hold of Trowa's arm.

            "You'll save… Mr. Chang… won't you?"  He asked.

            _Sacrificial fool.  Doesn't he know he's gonna die if I don't find this antidote?!?!_  Trowa yelled in his mind.

            "I know I'm in bad condition… but the Chief is in WAY worst… condition.  M-my… father… has him… You have to find him…please…"

            "You're freezing…" Trowa removed the once precious, once clean… leather vest and covered him with it.  "You basically claimed this anyway—keep it."

            Quatre smiled after, yet another coughing fit, "Thank you so much!  I… know… I have been a pain… to you…. Mr. Trowa…"

            Trowa couldn't help but argue, "No!  I'm just not used to tending to… little ones… I was the real pain…."

            "My parents never had any other kids…"

            _Thank God._

            Quatre chuckled.

            _Is he reading my mind? _Trowa thought.__

            "Yes".

            Oh shit!

            "It's okay…."  He gave a warm smile.  "…I deserved a lot of remarks from before…I also heard you when I fell into the pit…."  Quatre started coughing again.  "You truly are a… kind person…" he admitted.

            Trowa scratched his head, "….Well—I was worried about you—you're just a kid!!!  You should've never been here in the first place---"

            "I wish… YOU were my big brother." He smiled.  "Would you… be my big brother, Mr. Barton?"

            Trowa blinked, the only words he could say came out like this: "That… was…so…fucking…cute… Lil' Guy."

            Quatre chuckled again, until another coughing fit kicked in.  "I'm so sleepy… Brother…I…" he suddenly went limp and died.

            "!!!"  Trowa went into shock.  He slid off the cot and found himself staring at the floor. "Quatre?" _I'm all alone…again._

            After a very emotional (crying…shhhh—don't tell anyone…) session, Trowa stepped out of the office to go on with the mission. There was more evidence to be found. A HUGE facility to blow up. And a little brother to be avenged.

            Before he started to head back into the Nightmarish Survival Horror, he turned to stared at himself in the office window…which was reflective (duh).  Sans the red, leather vest, Trowa is sporting all black.  Fitting for the mood he's in. 

He continued to stare at the odd glass, his tear streaked face, his totally cool-looking Unibang, his blonde tresses---**(*_record scratching sound*) blonde tresses?!?!?!_**

            "Is that a face?!?!" Trowa asked himself out loud… peering through the window at the strange form through the window----

            **"****troo****oooooOOOOOOOOOOWA!!!!"**  Quatre screeched, punching through the glass, reaching for The Silencer.

            "Eeeyaaaaaagh!!!!"  Screamed Trowa, rushing backwards and into a wall.  "Oooph!!!"

            Quatre flipped out of the office and glared at his Big Brother…. Or should I say Big Meal…. **"I'm gonna EAT you Troooooowa!!!!"**

            Trowa slowly slid his body towards the nearest corridor and looked in utter shock.  Quatre was no longer the cute, blonde haired, blue-doe-eyed, loveable kid that followed him around.  He was this golden eyed, feathery headed, drooling, unlovable short-statured freakshow, leering at Trowa… ready to eat him alive.

            "What… the FUCK… is wrong… with you, Lil' Guy?!?!?"  Trowa asked still inching towards safety.

            **"HEEhehehehehehehee!!!! CAN'T YOU SEE?!?! I'M A FRIGGIN GAWD!!!! AND I AM GOING TO EAT YOOOOOOOU!!!!"**  Quatre hollered as he suddenly pounced at Trowa who rolled out of the way.

            "Oh shit!!! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!!!" The Tall Wonder raved as he went scampering down the corridor.  

Zombie Quatre wasn't too far behind with his usual chant, **"TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOwaAAAAAA!!!!  I WANNA EAT YOUR BRAAAAAAINS!!!"**

Trowa found himself at a crossroads, either go left or right.  With a Cannibal Quatre clawing through the door behind him, he knew he had to make another path of escape…. Up.  Trowa climbed up the central dome between the two paths and hid from frontal view.  As a safety precaution _(What if he smells me?)_ he tossed down a useless item: the handgun in the path to the left.

            **CRASH!!!**  The Blonde Beast tore through the metal door like tissue paper and tossed it over the platform.  He scanned the area in search for his 'dinner' and plodded towards the right path…. But when he spotted the handgun across the area on the left platform he climbed upon the rails and flipped over to the left walkway.

            Trowa slowly moved his lengthy body towards the opposite side Quatre's assumed field of vision.  He remained quiet as the Tiny Freak started sniffing the gun. He took a quick scan around the elevated area and crept through the left side doorway.

            After a few minutes, Trowa felt it was safe to climb down and go down the right (literally the right path).  He hurried to the right door and opened it----

            **"PEEEEEEEEEEK-A-BOOOOO!!!!!"**Evil Quatre cheered stepping through the door and making a beeline into Trowa. **"IMA EAT YOOOOU!!!"**

            CRUNCH!!! Went Trowa's groin as Quatre, once again, smashed it with another friggin' softball bat.

            Trowa faltered to the ground.  Quatre caught him in his arms and tried to bite his head…(the one on top of his neck---pervs!!!!)  Fortunately the styling gel placed in Trowa's hair was still effective. The hardened shell of hair gave the Zombie Brat a nasty toothache!!!!

            Quatre staggered back, spitting for all it was worth, "This is so gross!!!!!  What did you put in your hair!?!!?  Cement!!!" he whined as if normal.

            Trowa crawled away from the deranged boy, "Quatre?"  With one last ounce of hope he called out… "Quat----"

            The boy glared up at him, eyes glowing, "**I guess I'll have to BREAK YOUR FUCKING SKULL OPEN----EYAYIYIYIYIyiyiyiyi!!!!!"**

            Out of nowhere, Quatre held up ANOTHER bat and got ready to break Trowa's fucking skull open---

            **BOOM!!!!  A loud and thunderous blast hit Quatre knocking him flat against the door.  It opened, being that it was an automatic causing Quatre to fall flat on his back afterward…**

            "……UUhhhhhNNNNNNNnnnnn…..CooooooooOOOOOOokies---**BRAINS**….." the Boy Monster mumbled before going out for the count.

            Trowa looked back and spotted…..  "Officer Maxwell?  What happened to you."

            Duo walked towards Trowa, lowering his grenade launcher.  "Saving your ass, I think."  He suddenly aimed the grenade launcher in Trowa's face.  "Do I look like a zombie to you?"

            Trowa held up his hands and replied, "No, Officer Maxwell—Why are you asking me such a ridiculous question?"

            Duo shrugged, "I don't know…  I think I killed you partner, because he thought I was a zombie---"

            Trowa burst into laughter.

            This frightened Officer Shinagami, so he retorted, "What part of that did YOU find funny?"

            "The whole bloody thing!"  Trowa answered.  "NOTHING can kill Heero Yuy.  He's like a robot--- or some sort of deity… of doom…chaos…. Lots of bad shit."

            Duo argued, "Well I just wasted him with a grenade round—through a door and into a wall up there!"

            Trowa shook his head—his hair did not move, "No, you just pissed him off."

            Duo swallowed hard, "R-really?"

            As Trowa and Duo continued through the right path, stepping over Quatre's body, the Tall One couldn't help but ask:  "No, seriously, Duo---Where's Heero?"

            Duo walked past him and uttered, "He went mad… I think he's a zombie---We had a shoot out and a brawl----EVERYTHING hurts.  He grazed my arm.  I blew his angry ass to kingdom come and left."  He looked back at Trowa.

            He was still standing at the door, "Hold up. Heero's a zombie?"

            "Yeah, maybe we can find a cure or something---"

            "HEERO'S…. a zombie?!"

            Duo stressed, "Listen to me--- Let's hurry up and find a cure--- THAT'S why we're HERE!!!"

            "He's gonna murder us ALL…. Our future children… our grandchildren…. Descendants---"Trowa was still aghast.

            Duo shoved him, "Trowa---SNAP out of it!!!  Where's Wufei?!"

            Trowa blinked, shook his head (hair STILL didn't move), and recalled, "Trieze got him.  Wufei's got the keys---Heero's a fucking zombie!??!!!"

            Duo took a step back and aimed.  He announced, "DON'T go spazzing out on me—I'll shoot you, too!!!"

            Trowa snapped back and said, "You're right—all we have to do is find the cure—or whatever it is—and we can turn them back…. Right?!?"

            Duo shrugged, half smiling, half guessing, "Well… sure… they're not all decayed and ugly like the others… so… we'll juuuuust …stop that from happening… It'll be ok!"

            Trowa blinked, "We are SO bullshitting ourselves, Duo."

            Duo sulked, "I know, dude.."


	12. Hail to the Chief!!!

**Chapter 12: Hail to the Chief!!!**

Normal zombies and Slobbers didn't seem to be such a big deal.  But since Heero and Quatre are among the undead---Separating was NOT an option.  Someone has to serve as zombie bait—er backup for the other.

            Trowa and Duo entered the research lab.  Trowa was in for a treat!

            "What the hell is that?!?"  He articulated with a slight glare of nausea. He dart back around the corner to keep from being seen.

            Duo loaded his trusty grenade launcher with an acid round and sighed,  "One question: Is it on the ceiling or floor?"

            "The bloody ceiling!!!"  he whispered desperately.

            Duo lowered his weapon and sighed, "Give him time..."

            "W-what?"

            A sudden sound of the Slobber hitting the floor and snapping its neck was heard.

            Duo exhaled, "There you go..." he lead Trowa out to the middle of the lab and pointed to the dead Slobber on the floor.  "That's what they do."

            Trowa gave Duo a look of confusion.  He was going to say something until..

            The sound of several Slobbers rattled throughout the lab---all from the floor.

            Duo took out his grenade launcher and handed Trowa  a sub machine gun.  "This is where it gets interesting...."

            "...!"  Trowa caught sight of one of the Slobber slinking past a desk.  He nodded and stood behind Duo, back to back.  "Let's do this."  He then looked at his sole sub machine gun from Duo and asked, "Uh... you wouldn't happen to have two of these would you—The shotgun is so slow and all..."

            Duo reached his arm around his back and pulled out another sub machine gun....?!?!?  He chuckled, "Oh yeah!  I DID find another one of those—you can have it!"

            "Thanks."  Trowa replied, putting his shotgun to his back.

            The first set of Slobbers came scampering towards them and met up with their maker, when Trowa and Duo opened fire. 

Another three went into the air to attack the two survivors:  they each took out the left and right monsters with a massive hail of bullets along with an acidic explosion.  Duo and Trowa both went in separate directions dodging the middle Slobber.  When it landed from its fruitless pounce, he came face-to-Death with Duo's acid round.  

Meanwhile Trowa opened his arms and fired at two oncoming Slobbers at both his sides.  One Slobber went scuttling towards Trowa, while he was shooting the other two beasts, and met up with a heavy steel-toed boot in the head.  It went flying through a research counter.

Duo blasted a grenade round into a group of Slobbers coming his way, hitting a fire extinguisher behind them. Judging from the way the squealed—then froze to death—Duo decided to cool off.  He switched to Nitro rounds, and started making Slobber-sickles from all the frozen carcasses he was making from the frigid assault.  

Then Duo started shooting at the ceiling as Trowa continued to fire away at the mutants creeps: distracting them.  Eventually the ice was becoming too much for the ceiling to support and went caving in on a whole pack of Slobbers

Both Monster Killas continued to rain Holy Hell upon the mutant freaks....

Until the monsters finally had the sense to run away... well the last three anyway...

**Few minutes later...**

Seeing that he was low on ammo, Trowa decided to take a break and reload...(FINALLY).  How fortunate that the handgun bullets are ALOS compatible with the sub-Machine guns.... (Oh joys!).  Unfortunately he had to put EACH and EVERY bullet inside the magazine.... _Grrr!!!!_

Duo sat upon on of the demolished counters and looked around.  "Heero and I dealt with those things before... I saved his life.... Heero didn't know what to do.... He was scared shitless."

Trowa arched the one brow that was visible and stated, "You are a terrible liar, Officer Maxwell."

"Duo laughed and admitted, "Well... that's why I never do it.  Just trying to humor you."

Trowa released a slight and low-decibel chortle, before getting up from the messy floor and said, "Just be glad you didn't have to deal what Quatre and I had to face on an hourly basis."

Duo slid off the counter and asked, "What?! A zombie?"

Trowa went to describe it, "He was much different from the others. He was huge! He wore..."

Duo uttered mortified, "Black Cloak.  Gray skin... really quiet and sneaky..."

Trowa nodded, "Yeah! You've seen him before, huh?"

Duo stuttered, "T-T-T-T-rowa.... he's RIGHT here..."  The Braided Wonder stumbled back and pointed towards the Huge Freak.

The Lanky Lad gulped, "Oh shit...." Trowa quickly spun around and opened fire upon the Giant. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAyh!!!"

But the Giant walked through the stream of bullets and swiped at Trowa.  The teen amazingly jumped back and just made a run for it.  No one had to tell Duo twice he made sure to have a head start, running before Trowa even registered the words.

**Somewhere halfway across the facility...**

Trowa easily caught up with Duo, because he got caught by Relena at gunpoint. Trowa bumped into Duo who fell onto Relena causing her to drop the gun, lose her footing, and fall to the floor.  

"You fools!!!  I won't let you have the G-Bunny virus OR this VACCINE!!!" She yelled holding the virus' vaccine and solutions to our heroes' dilemma in her ditsy hand.

"G-Bunny??!" Trowa uttered in frustration.  "But I thought it was called the—"

Duo shouted, "Dude!!! She's got the cure!!!  GET HER!!!"

Trowa obeyed.  He flipped into the air and landed an elbow drop on Relena's chest.  The vaccine rolled out of her unconscious hand.  Trowa swiped it.

"Let's go!"  Duo commanded, stepping over Relena's body. We need to put this in some sort of device to.... uh..."  He stopped in his tracks to find, in his diminutive vocabulary, the right word.

"Administer?"  Trowa sighed with his arms folded.

Duo snapped his fingers, "Oh yeah!!!" He released a scream, "Huh?!??! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAh!!!!  The Boogie Man!!!"

Giant (Boogie Man?!?!) came stomping around the corner.  Both survivors went to running, leaving Relena behind...

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            Wufei Chang awoke with a shock!  He was still alive!!!  He opened his eyes and yet there was still semi-darkness.... Was he dead??!!  He was covered with something!!! A cloth!  It was all over his body---yet he could feel that he still had his shirt and slacks on!!!

            _What the hell is going on?!?!?  There's something on my head!!!_

            Wufei reached at his head, but something was over it---except for two holes over his eyes.  He was wearing some sort of suit!!!  Whatever it is he's wearing—it sure is hot and stuffy in it.  And it felt oversized and the hands to it are even divided for finger to fit into.  The legs to the suit seemed heavy when he moved them around.  This suite was awkward... no doubt.

            _This... this is...INSANE!!!!  Damn Treize and al his trickery!!!  HE'S PUT ME IN SOME SORT OF FUZZY ZIP LOCK BAG!!!!_

            Wufei struggled to remove the suit only to roll off and land upon the floor.  "Mmrph!!!"  He sounded from outside the suit.

            Clinging to the platform he fell from, Wufei managed to pull himself up from the floor. The Dragon Chief was not pleased as he put forth the effort into moving around.

Like a blind man at an orgy... he had to feel around. 

_This is INJUSTICE!!!!_

**(Author's note: Quote from one of the Naked Gun movies... can't even remember if I said it right....)**

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            Trowa and Duo were excited about finding the cure for their now evil friends... but they were having a hard time finding SOMETHING to administer the anti-zombie cure with.

            Quatre 'The Stalker' Winner would probably be the easiest to give it to.   He's such a little guy, Duo would probably be more successful in sticking him with a syringe.  Not to mention, Duo doesn't want to deal with Heero 'The Despot' Yuy.  The Cop of Death has had his fill with living dangerously for one night. If anyone has a better chance with The Perfect Ghoul it would be Trowa.

**(Author's note: Calling all honor students—Despot=Tyrant!!!  Get it!!! Outstanding!!! J/K)**

            Trowa has already decided on what sort of method he was going to use on Heero.  The only problem was: Where to find the weapon for it....

            Trowa and Duo came across a computer terminal.  It must've been expensive cause boy it was HUGE!!!  The screen alone was the size of the wall behind it.  The control panel consisted of a keyboard and buttons and switches to damn near everything. 

            "Hey... you think we blow this place up form here?"  Duo asked, still marveling at the various blinking, glowing, and beeping buttons.  "Ooh!!!"  He went to smashing buttons....

            Trowa swatted Duo away, "Quit it!"  He snapped.  Trowa looked around the control panel, read a couple of buttons and switched the monitor to surveillance.  "Let's find an escape route, first."

            After a few short seconds, they spotted the screen for the transport train (not to be confused with the transport car).  It is probably used to take Parasol employees back to the city or another research facility.  Either way it looked like the start of a plan.

            As Trowa began to think everything out, Duo's attention went to something else: Like the Purple Blob heading down the transport corridor on the leftmost monitor.

            "Uh.... Trowa—what the hell is THAT?!?!?"

            Trowa looked up, had moved the hair out of his eyes for this one, "Hmm.... I don't know.... lets kill it."

            Duo squinted, "Hey, doesn't it look like.... Ba---"

            Trowa suddenly yelled,  "Hey!!!  He's heading for OUR escape route!!!  Let's move it!!!"

            "The Hell he IS!!!"  Duo growled.  

            Both ass-kicking survivors took for the transport corridor…

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            A short while after Duo and Trowa left the control room, Trieze entered the scene.  He looked upon the various monitors and spotted several interesting things:

            Relena was in the ladies restroom redoing her make-up on monitor 1-B.  _She's in a life or death situation—and she HAS to reapply her rouge?!?!  WHY isn't she dead already?!?!?_

            Trieze also happened to spot his creation the Giant monitors 4-A, 4-C, 4-F, 4-H...  The huge ghoul was walking through doors!!!  _Doh!!!  That cost MONEY!!!!  IDIOT!!!_  Smashing up various laboratory furnishings.  _What is wrong with YOU!!!!_ All while heading towards the transport area. _Take a blasted shortcut!!!  _He did just that and smashed open the floor below him with his fists.  A loud clash, bang, and boom echoed through the building. A few monitors went to static.  _Freaking idiot!!!!  It is obvious I did not make the correct choice in creating him.  I'm a made for a backup---The Despot._

            Just as he thought up the name, The Despot (Heero) made an appearance on monitor 1-A.  He was just outside the transport area.  He was actually waiting for the survivors!!!  He looked up at the distant camera and frowned.  Suddenly there was a blonde blur moving towards the monitor. Then it went to static as well.  _What was THAT all about?!?  Must've been The Hunter: Quatre_.

            Meanwhile at the few remaining monitors he spotted Wufei.  He chuckled at his ridiculous situation.  How unfortunate he couldn't find the bio suit, contaminated with the G-Money virus.  But Treize being the clever and cruel bastard that he is came up with a more heartless idea…

            Treize turned and headed towards the transport corridor as well.  He didn't want to miss the carnage that is about to unfold.  "This will be interesting indeed."

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

            Wufei crawled into a room and spotted (just barely) an elevator. He was so happy he went to laughing hysterically until he heard two familiar voices in a distance.

            "Oh my gawd!!!  WHAT IS THAT??!!"  Trowa exclaimed.  He blinked, knowing it sounded quite familiar—and stupid at the same time.  "No, seriously what the bloody hell is it?!"

            Duo screamed,  "It's Barney!!!"  He dropped his grenade launcher, picked up a lead pipe and continued,  "KILL IT!!!  KILL IT!!!"

            Wufei jumped up and peeped around through his suit.  _Barney?!?!  Where!?!?!  How fitting for a freak like THAT to show up in this survival horror!!! WEAKLING---"_OOOOOOW!!!!"  he yelled feeling something smashing into his back.  "What the hell??!!  Duo?!?!?"  He recognized the bitch-ass yelling from anywhere.

            But WHY was he beating him with a lead pipe!?!?!

@@@

            "How does Barney fit into all of this?!?!"  The Silencer said to himself.

            Trowa stared in horror at the ghastly sight.  Duo fighting for his life from Barney, who suddenly retaliated with an ankle grab and toss.  He wanted to shoot it, but Duo came back at Barney with fist flying. He clocked the Purple Terror with his left, and to the gut with his right.  Then he just tackled the crazed beast to the floor and went to rolling.

            "MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMrph!!!!!"  Was all the Purple Dinosaur could sound from it's sewn mouth.  It's arms, too deformed to actually do any real damage to Duo went to flailing.  It's short, fat legs looked as though they were tied down as they shook around struggling for movement.

            Finally on top… (gawd that sounded wrong…)Duo straddled the beast and continuously went to pounding Barney in the head.  "IT… WAS… YOU… WHO TURNED… OUR FRIENDS… INTO MONSTERS!!!!  WASN'T IT!!!  IMA…BEAT THE STUFFING OUT OF YOU…..AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!" Duo roared through punches….

            Duo did come through with what he said: the stuffing went flying.  Trowa ran up to Duo to try and stop him from his assault, but the Angered God of Death pushed him out of the way and continued.

            Suddenly Barney's head ripped from its neck, revealing a face…

            A bruised face… An angry face…

            "Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…" Sounded Wufei from within the decapitated Barney suit.  It's not like the blows really hurt him from under the suit.  It's the principal of the thing.

            Duo put his hands up, FAR AWAY from Wufei's face, as if he wouldn't know.  "I… am… SO…SO…SORRY…sir----OOOPHA!!!"

            Wufei shoved Duo off of him. He went into Chinese curses as he began to rip the Barney suit off his body into shreds.  Once he got free---ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE…upon Duo.

            "*You son-of-a-whoring-bitch!!!!*  I will destroy you!!! I will destroy your seeds!!! I will destroy EVERYTHING that is YOU!!!!!"  Wufei hollered as he picked Duo up by his braid and threw him into the elevator door.  He went rushing towards him only to get locked into a hold by Trowa.  "LET ME GO!!!! LET ME GO!!!  I WILL KILL HIS SOUL AND EAT IT!!!"

            "Uhm… where are you getting this from?!?"  Trowa asked as he swung the Angered Snapping Dragon around and threw him to the ground.  "Calm down, Ch----AAAAAAAACK!!!"

            Wufei INSTANTLY grabbed Trowa by the Unibang and threw him into Duo… into the elevator doors.  "I WILL KILL YOU BOTH!!!!  DIIIIIIIIE!!!!"

As both survivors went sliding down the doors, Looney Tunes style, they thought they heard something…

"Did you hear that!?"  Trowa groaned, crawling off of Duo's head.  "Sorry."

Duo spoke, in agonizing pain,  "It's okay.  I've been through this before. But yeah, I did hear something…" He peered upward, ignoring Wufei's yelling and ranting. "It's up there…."


	13. Despot's Reign of Terror!!!

**Chapter 13: Despot's Reign of Terror!!!**

"DON'T TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT!!!!" Wufei shouted, still pissed.

As Trowa staggered to his feet he announced to the Chief,  "The ONLY reason I DIDN'T retaliate is because we need each other right now."  He took out both his sub machine guns and aimed,  "SOMEHOW there was a major mistake.  Duo and I have paid for it.  NOW…"

Duo looked up again when he heard cracking at the ceiling.  "Uhh… dude.  Lets' move from here… NOW!"

Trowa hissed back at Duo,  "I'm trying to get him to calm the fuck down—let me work---"

"HOW COULD YOU THINK I WAS BARNEY—IT'S OBVIOUS THAT THIS WAS TRIEZE'S DEVIOUS SCHEME TO GET ME KILLED—"

Trowa yelled back at Wufei,  "FINE!!!!  Gawd-damnit I said we were sorry!!!  There have been a lot of crazy things going on: Heero and Quatre are now monsters!  And that big mothafucking Giant is STILL chasing us… not to mention Trieze and his wife are running around here."  He lowered his guns when he noticed Wufei's expression towards Quatre's out coming.

"It was my fault…" Wufei uttered at a low volume.  He dropped his head and folded his arms.  

Duo was going batty right now as pieces of the ceiling began chipping off, hitting the floor.  "Hey guys!!!!  Conclude the male-bonding!!!! Let's get the hell out of here!!!"

"SHUT-UP!!!"  Wufei snapped.  "If only I wasn't so weak---I should've been there to save that boy---"

Trowa disagreed,  "No, man!!!  I was the one who took responsibility for Quatre.  ALL this time he looked up to me as a brother and I failed him…."

As the Trowa and Wufei therapy session (more crying… shh!!!) continued, Duo was staring at the ceiling opening up right above him.  A cute, but evil face beamed down at him.  "Uh… Trowa….??!"

Trowa sniffled, then yelled,  "WHAT?!?!?!"

"That little kid, you had to watch over…" Duo spoke as he slowly started to walk away from under the area.  "Did he look like…THAT?!?!

            Wufei looked above Trowa, cuz Duo went running, and spotted Quatre.  He too started to haul ass.  Trowa didn't want to look, but went drops of drool started tapping on his shoulder, knew what he had to do: Scream like a little bitch….

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYH!" was all that came from Trowa as Quatre grabbed him by the neck, and started pulling him up.  "OH MY GAWD!!!  OH MY GAWD!!! OH MY GAWD!!! OH MY GAWD!!! OH MY GAWD!!! OH MY GAWD!!! OH MY GAWD!!! OH MY GAWD!!! OH MY GAWD!!! OH MY GAWD!!! OH MY GAWD!!! OH MY GAWD!!! OH MY GAWD!!! OH MY GAWD!!! OH MY GAWD!!!"

            "I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!! BIG BROTHER!!!!"  Quatre hissed as he tried to bite Trowa's head off. 

            "I didn't….. miss… you!!!!  Get off of me!!!!" Trowa gripped Quatre's neck to push him away, but his strength was quickly becoming overwhelming… "Oh shit!!!!  He's… He's-----AAAACK!!!!!"

            _He's mutating… If he doesn't get hit with the anti-virus. He'll turn into a monster!!! _Trowa realized thinking these maybe his final moments._  Man!  This sucks!!!_

            "Oh shit!!!!"  Duo exclaimed.  He ran up to Trowa…or should I say his legs and started pulling him back down.  "Let him go!!! You pasty faced freak!!!"

            Quatre snarled and lashed his tongue at Duo, whipping his arm—WHIPP-O!!!! 

            "HOLY SHIT!!! OW!!  I want one of those-OW!" Duo shouted shaking the stinging pain from his arm.  He was losing this tug-o-war with the freak but he continued to fight.  Taking out the syringe Duo decided to go on with the plan to save Quatre.  

Finally, Wufei decided to intervene, when he grabbed the lead pipe, previously used by Duo and swung at the ceiling right under Quatre.  Both Quatre and his captive went crashing to the floor.  Quatre's grip loosened, giving Trowa a chance to crawl away.  

Meanwhile Wufei ran over to Quatre and kicked him in the face, slamming him onto his back. Duo jumped on him and stabbed him in the neck with the syringe, injecting the anti-virus.

"YAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYH!!!" The boy even sounded like a Slobber as he squealed in pain. In retaliation, Quatre lashed out his tongue, wrapping it around Duo's neck.  Duo stabbed his tongue as well.  Wufei and Trowa jumped on Quatre as well, trying to release Duo's neck.  

They met with the newly sharpened clawed that had developed on Quatre's hands. Fighting for all it was worth, the mutated boy went to slashing and clawing at the men. So now they have to hold the claws at bay while trying to save Duo. And the Braided Wonder is trying desperately to pry that nasty tongue from around his neck… So now EVERYONE had their hands full. 

Three grown men on top of this crazed and screaming kid… Man… if someone were to walk in on this…

"Oh… my!" Relena muttered, blushing furiously. When she recognized the person on the bottom she got infuriated. "What are they doing to my son?!"  She stalked into the room and picked up Duo's fallen Grenade Launcher.  "Get off of my son!!!  You perverts!!!"

Wufei called out, "It's NOT what you think Onna!!!!  He's trying to kill us---ACK!!!"

Suddenly Quatre tossed both Wufei and Trowa off his sides and released Duo.  He flipped to his feet and went after Relena.

"AAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYh!!!! I'll KILL YOOOOOU!!!!"  Quatre hissed and he lashed his tongue at his own mother.

"AAAAAyh!!!!"  She dropped the Grenade Launcher and went to running.

It fired into the elevator---destroying it.  Wufei and Trowa looked at the destroyed vessel of escape and then glared at each other.

"You have got to be kidding" they both said.

Meanwhile, Duo was out cold, due to lack of oxygen.  Leaving Trowa and Wufei to try and save Relena.  

As the Blonde Professor Lady went running down the corridor, she slammed into her husband.  "Honey!?"  she gasped.  "We have to get out of here—AYH!!!"

Treize punched her in the gut, and spun her around.  "No, Darling.  I have to get out of here."  He held Relena up as a shield against Quatre who was STILL in Hunter mode.

"OOOOOh!!!!! ANOTHER SNACK!!!!"

"Maybe the anti-virus didn't work…" Trowa though out loud.  He was suddenly facing the family of whackos.  "Prof. Trieze, put her down!!!" he ordered aiming his sub machine guns… he can't seem to find that shotgun anywhere….

Wufei yelled out, "You coward!!! Using an ONNA for a shield."  He took out Trowa's shotgun and aimed, "Let that weakling go and fight with me!!!"

Trowa looked over to Wufei,  "Dude!  That's MY shotgun!"

"Uh… One of those Sub Machine guns are MINE!"  Wufei returned.

"Oh!"

Trieze cut the small chatter with a scoff, "Don't kid yourselves!  You can't stop my G-Money virus from taking over the world."  He took out a syringe and laughed, "Come on!!! ALL of you!!!  I'll take you all down, HAHAHA----ick!!!"

Suddenly Trieze released Relena and fell to the flow with a bloody thud.  He had a hole right through his chest!!!!  Only Heero remained standing from behind.

Even Hunter Quatre seemed shocked and actually backed away.  Trowa and Wufei also backed away… from both the Despot and Quatre.

"Did you miss me?"  Heero asked slowly walking over towards them.  He had these HUGE spikes sitting out of each hand.  One of which was dripping in Trieze's blood.  "There is NO escape from me… even YOU Quatre will die as well."

"YOU FOOL YOU CAN'T DO ANYTH-----aaaaaaayh!!!!"  The Hunter Quatre was finally starting to turn back to normal. He broke between Trowa and Wufei and scampered off.

Trowa and Wufei followed suit.  When they approached the remains of the elevator they noticed that Quatre must've made his escape regardless of an elevator car.  

"He must've climbed up." Wufei figured.  He looked back… I guess we'll have to deal with Heero."

Suddenly the intercom went off throughout the building: "ATTENTION! ALL EMPLOYEES PROCEED TO THE UPPER PLATFORM FOR TRANSPORT. THIS IS AN EMERGENCY…"

"NO SHIT!!!"  Trowa and Wufei yelled to the top of their lungs.  Suddenly the whole area went to red flashing lights and alarms started sounding off.  "Oh…..shit!"

The announcement continued: WARNING DUE TO THE BIOHAZARD CONTAMINATION---THIS FACILITY WILL SELF DESTRUCT IN FIVE MINUTES…..  WARNING…"

Trowa and Wufei just stared at each other.  Then they looked back at the entrance and spotted Heero just standing there with his deformed hands upon his hips.  He was actually smiling.  Trowa and Wufei exchanged quick glances before looking back at Despot Heero.

"Uhm… can you take him?"  Wufei asked slowly walking away.

Heero took several steps closer, "Hn."

Trowa swallowed, "…uhm… no."

"NO!"  Wufei hissed.

"CAN YOU?!?!"

"No…"

"Hn!" Heero gave another sadistic smile before suddenly zooming towards them, knocking them into the destroyed elevator floor.  "Going Up...?" Before Trowa and Wufei could get up Heero grabbed both of them by their necks and tossed them WAY up into the air----

**CRASH!!!!**  Both men went flying through the elevator shaft!!! **(In the great words of Shao Khan: Excellent!)**

**(Author's note: Shao Khan is owned by Midway---and he made a DAMN good MK villian...hmph!)**

            Trowa and Wufei were now at the Transport Train station…. But not by choice.  At least they were ALMOST to safety.  But that would consist of Heero not whooping their asses.

            "Must destroy… ALL HUMANITY…. Must Kill…" Heero started to climb up the shaft after them at insane speed.  "Must kill----HN?!?"

            Suddenly there was a fiery explosion--- and Heero went flying up the shaft and landed unto the upper platform.  He was still… for now.

            Both men peered over the void---they ALL flew from and spotted Duo climbing up the shaft with his grenade launcher. "Sorry, it took so long for me to regain consciousness!"

            "Ah, no prob…" Trowa shook his head.  "But we got less than five minutes to finish this and----"

            "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYH!!!!  Five FUCKING Minutes!!!!!!"  Duo screamed. He stopped panicking and asked, "For what?"

            Trowa and Wufei stared at each other both wearing a worried look upon their faces.

            "Until this whole place self destructs."

            "Oh!  That's kewl!"  Duo smiled.  He sat down and started reloading his weapon.

            Wufei was frustrated with Duo abnormal behavior, "Uhh… did you hear----"

            Trowa waved his hand subtly and whispered, "It'll process… **MUCH later."**

            "Oh…. Okay…"

            The Tall Guy reached in his side pack and pulled out a missile.  Wufei looked at him… curiously.

            "What the Hell is that?!?!"  

            "It's a missile—filled with the anti-virus."

            The Ponytailed Terror continued to give him the curious stared only he added confusion.  "So… where's the missile launcher…?"

            The Unibanged Mute just blinked, "…?"

            Wufei just responded, "…?"  He started yelling, "You HIM-BO!!!!  Did you think this weapon would just fall from the sky-----OOOPh!!!!"

            Indeed a missile launcher fell from the sky…. Or should I say the upper ledge---RIGHT on top of Wufei's head.

            Trowa looked up and spotted, "Quatre!!!!?"

            The blonde boy stood on the upper ledge and smiled, "Oh hello!!!!  I had a bad dream!!!  When I woke up I found this HUGE gun."  He waved and asked, "You like it?"

            Trowa looked down at Wufei… who was STILL out cold, then looked up and replied, "Oh yeah—It's great."  He gestured, "Get down here so we can escape to the train."

            Quatre cheered, "OKAY!!! I like trains!!!"

            Duo looked up and waved,  "Oh hey, kid!!!  Are you still a freak of nature?"

            Quatre scratched his head,  "Uhm… I don't know what you're talking about, Mister."

            The Blonde Cutie was about to climb down a nearby staircase when suddenly….

            "I must kill… ALL HUMANITY….OMAE O KOROSU…. " Heero was getting up and he DID NOT sound happy.  

            Duo slowly started to get up and move away from the area.  "Uh… the missile… please---"

            "Right!"  Trowa loaded the missile launcher and got ready to aim----  "OOOOw!!!"

**      FUMBLE!!!!**  Heero went speeding at Trowa and knocked him flat into a wall.

            The missile launcher went spinning into the middle of the floor.  Duo scampered to reach it but, Heero was too fast and yanked the officer by the braid, and slammed him over the shoulder into the metal floor.

            "You big bully!!!"  Angered, Quatre went racing down the stairs, took out a Gundanium bat, and swung.  

            It hit... but not hard enough.  Without even looking, Heero backhanded Quatre and the bat all the way back to the staircase he came from.

"ACK!!!"

Trowa, out of nowhere, jumped upon his back, using his weight to land the Despot flat on his face.  He flipped off of him and ordered Duo to pick up the missile launcher and shoot Heero.

Duo hurried over to the missile launcher, hoisted the HUGE weapon upon his shoulders, placed his fingers upon the trigger and….

Fell flat on his back…

Trowa and Heero had to stare at Duo… oddly. "Huh?"

Duo snapped, "Well DON'T look at ME!!!!  It fucking HEAVY!!!!"

             "I'll help!!!"  Quatre cheered as he helped Duo to his feet. 

            Meanwhile Trowa was having one bitch of a time holding Heero into position.  The Lanky Lad was NO WHERE near as heavy as Heero. So, Trowa's efforts were… pointless.  Totally ignoring Trowa, Heero saw his biggest threat to his mission was Duo and Quatre who were holding up the Missile Launcher. He hurried over towards them, dragging Trowa along.

            "I said….. stop…. Heero…. Fight….Me!!!!"  Trowa grunted, as he held Heero's leg with all his might… sliding across the floor behind the Despot-Agent.  "SHOOT THE FUCKING WEAPON!!!!"

            "Go away…" Heero growled, shaking his 'weighed down' foot.

            Trowa, then grabbed the other foot, causing the mutating man to lose balance and stumble.  Heero was becoming pissed, raising his clawed hand and got ready to stab Trowa.

            "NO!!!!"  Quatre screamed releasing the Missile Launcher---causing Duo to fall on his ass once again.  "Oh sorry!" He looked back and apologized before going back at Heero,  "Noooooooo!!!!"  The Lil' Guy jumped upon Heero's arm, weighing him down to the floor—must've been the cookies---

            "ARGH!!!!"  Heero hollered as he took back his other clawed hand and got ready to stab Quatre---

            "No!!!!!!"  Duo got up and jumped on Heero's other arm—causing the Despot to fall flat on his face.

            "This is starting to get ridiculous…" Heero grunted peeling his face form the pavement.  "Get off of me!!!!"

            With a sudden and overpowering movement Heero got up----slinging everyone off into several directions.  Trowa went back into the wall… making a matching dent to the left of the first.  Duo went into the railing and almost flipped over into the train rails.  Quatre landed upon Wufei---who was still knocked the fuck out….

            "You're time is running out… You will never defeat me… We well ALL die here!"  Heero spoke.

            The announcer's voice went off again… just to add in to Heero's threat:  YOU NOW HAVE 2 MINUTES UNTIL SELF DETONATION OF THIS FACILITY—YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT HEERO 'THE DESPOT' YUY!  I REPEAT YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT HEERO 'THE DESPOT' YUY---WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING, GUYS… I REPEAT…"

            "Think again, Hoochie Papa!!!"  spoke a familiar voice from behind Heero.

            "Hn?!"

            KA-BOOM!!!!!!


	14. Nightmare Finale'

CHAPTER 14: Nightmare Finale'

            There was a massive explosion as the missile hit Heero smack dab in the chest.  He must've flown through several walls…. Before sliding into the ground, several yards through the other side of the station.  Either way, Heero was FUCKED UP!

            Relena Peacecraft-Khushrenada dropped the massive weapon and fixed her hair.  She strolled over to the train power source unit---flicked it on.  She walked over towards the staircase.  She opened the power fuse box under the stairs and snatched out several fuses…

            EVERYTHING went black.

            Trowa woke up. It was pitch black.  Before he could scream Duo did:

            **"OH MY GAAAAAAAAWD!!!! WE HAVE 5 MINUTES LEFT!!!!  BEFORE THIS PLACE BLOWS UP!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYH!!!!"**

            Suddenly the lights went back on. 

Relena just stood there staring at Duo… strangely, "That would've been true like 10 minutes ago. Calm down, Officer."

            Trowa struggled to his feet and walked towards her, "I'm sorry about before… What did you do?!  What happened?"

            Relena shrugged, "I just shut the power off and to reset the facility."

            Duo hurried over to Trowa and Relena and stuttered, "You mean…we're not dead?"

            "No." Relena snapped.  She strolled off. 

            It was just then Wufei and Quatre awoke.  Both went looking around franticly, and then looked up at Trowa and Duo.

            Wufei was puzzled, "Uh… what did I miss? I thought---" 

            "Uhm… Trieze's wife turned the power off…" Trowa uttered calmly—and a tad embarrassed.  "Who puts MAJOR things in such SIMPLE areas!!!?"

            Wufei grumbled, "It's best that you DON'T ask!"  He too, stumbled off.

            Quatre just stood there, baffled.  "My tongue hurts…"

            Trowa and Duo stared at the boy---then busted out laughing.

            "What?!??!  WHAT'S so funny, guys?!?!"

            Meanwhile Relena is getting ready to board the train when she notices Heero just laid out… in the pavement.  She slowly nodded her head in heartache—_He's was so cute—now that my hubby's dead… he'd make a nice item to show off---damn!_

            Duo walked up to her, and looked at Heero's body, "Yeah…" he said towards Relena, "It's a shame—he was a cool guy."

            _I am SO considering necro right now!!!!_  Relena forced a gentle smile, "Yeah, he's such a hottie!!!"

            "…?"  Duo went blank.  He went inside the train, "Uh… I'll be at the controls…"

            Upon Duo' leave, another survivor approached Relena.

            "Miss Relena, are you ready?"  Trowa asked.  "Everyone's waiting----"

            Suddenly Heero sat up and released a loud, "Hn!" He shook his messy head from debris and got up from the ruble.

            Trowa gave a slight nod, "Hey."

            Heero looked over at Trowa, returned the nod, "Hey." Then he walked inside the train.  Relena swooned when he walked past her.  

            "Y-You're alive??!"  Relena gasped.

            Heero looked back and answered, "Yeah, AND?"

            Relena gave a shy smile and spoke, "Sorry about before..."

            Trowa walked off, snickering.  He headed towards the front of the train along with Quatre and Wufei.  Heero was stuck with The 'Grieving' (HA!) Widow.

            "It's no big deal, Relena..." Heero made an attempt to walk away.  "Getting blown happens a lot in my life."

            "How harsh!"  She sighed. Relena followed after him.  "Uhm, hey!  Since I'm single---now.  Why don't we get to know each other, huh?" She proposed.

            Heero arched his brow and glared at her. "No." he replied.

            Relena frowned, "What?!?!? You have something against single mothers!? My son Quatre is a good kid he's perfectly normal.... now."

            Heero admitted... **very coldly, "I ****don't have a problem with the kid.... I ****don't like ****you."**

            Relena froze.  At first she looked hurt, but then she smiled and replied, "Ah! A shy one!  I like that in a guy. Y'know I can tell we will get along a lot better than I did with my OLD husband.  He was so..."

            Why can't I just die.....?" Heero raved in his head in reaction to Relena's constant infatuated babble.

Soon the train had started and their escape from the survival horror was finally becoming a reality when---

            **THUD!!!!**  Something has landed upon the train!!

            Relieved, Heero peeled Relena off of him and went to investigate

            "Be careful, darling!"  She called out to him.

            "Drop dead...." Heero insulted under his breath.

            As Heero exited the train car he approached the next car and looked through the window.  He spotted a large and familiar figure.  The Giant. Undaunted by the ominous presence, Heero boldly entered the train car...

            Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre raced out of the train car after Heero.  Suddenly they heard a loud clatter, things being smashed and knocked around.  It was a brawl inside. When they entered the neighboring car they were in for a shock!!!

            Heero had already taken the Giant down.  He was slumped over against a couple of storage bins.... all of them were next to typewriters. His eyes were still opened, but they looked glazed over.  The other three survivors just gawked at Heero.

            "What did you do?!?!"  Trowa asked, his mouth gaped open.

            Heero huffed, "I beat the shit out of it."

            Quatre cooed, "Oooh!!!!"

            Wufei admitted, "It's quite obvious that that monster was no match for you.  For it is weak like an onna."

            Quatre asked, "W-what's an onna?"

            As the clatter went on, Heero looked at the dazed creature and noticed something odd.  There was a zipper on the back of its head.  "That's odd."  He said to himself before kneeling down.  He started to unzip the head to reveal....

            "Well, that explains it, chief.... it is an onna."  Heero commented as he tossed the mask aside.

Trowa recognized that lady, "Hey!  It's that lady you had on the table!"

The Chief recognized her, too. "?!??!  Sally??!?!"  Wufei gasped.  "M-my wife!!!???"

"She was The Giant all along!?!?!"  Quatre questioned, "WHY?!?!?"

Heero interrogated, "Yeah, that's pretty fucked up!  Why IS your wife dressed up as the Giant?"

Duo and Relena walked into the car as well.  They gave the same reaction.... well almost:

"Oh my gosh!!!  Heero!  Are you okay?!?!" Relena screamed.  "Who's the lady?"

Duo announced, "Whoa!  Since I'm here.... who's at the controls?"

Everyone ignored Duo.

Wufei stared at Sally, "WHAT the hell are you trying to do!?!!? ONNA!!!  Get me killed!!! Why are you dressing like the Giant!?!?"

Sally snorted, in a snobbish way, "Hah!!!!  SOMEONE had to stop you from redecorating MY police station.... MR. '**ACTING' POLICE CHIEF!!!!"**

"ACTING police chief!!???!" everyone gasped.

"Who's operating the controls??!!"  Duo yelled.

Everyone ignored Duo.... again.

Wufei fell to the floor and sighed, "It's true.  I'm not the real police chief—I'm just the Commissioner of Lemur City."

"The COMMISSIONER?!?!!  Everyone yelled in shock.... except Sally.

"He's always been jealous of me!  My job offers a bit more excitement than just donuts and coffee.  I take shady bribes AND carry a gun!!!"

"Ooooooh!!!!"  Everyone cooed.

"Uhm... this train seems to be picking up speed.  Would someone check the controls?"  Duo asked.

Everyone ignored Duo.... for the third time.

"Why did you attack us?!!"  Trowa snapped aiming his sub machine guns at Sally.

She scoffed, "Well, if you MUST know.... because I felt like it."

"You cold hearted bitch!!!"  Squeaked Quatre.

Everyone gawked at Quatre.

"Uhm.. Sorry..."

Sally continued, "The commissioner and I may be married but we love to compete. So he hired Prof. Trieze to give the Lemur City Police Department a bit of a challenge. The virus had caused zombies to overrun the city and it was up to ME and my police force to take them down...."

Heero blinked, "Uh... the rest of the police force IS DEAD, Sally.  Didn't you notice that?"

Trowa gagged, "You guys are sick!!!  Wufei HOW could you!!!?"

Quatre asked, "Does that mean Mr. Chang won?"

Wufei pouted, "NO.  Duo is STILL alive. The police force lives on. My city on the other hand..."

Sally added, "Is about to be nuked by the Preventers.  STILL a part of MY police force..."

"Yeah.... yeah..."  Wufei frowned. "But I would've won if not for YOU meddling agents and your doe-eyed snooping kid!!!!" He yelled pointing at Heero, Trowa, and Quatre.

Relena lowered her head and uttered, "Is it just me or have you gone TOO far?!"

Heero nodded, "For once I agree with the Relena.  Wufei, Sally do you guys have ANY idea what you've caused?"

"So?!"  Wufei snorted.  "I'm the Commissioner.  I can do whatever I want."

Sally grinned, "That's right!  We'll just move to another city and play another game.... maybe we'll use another virus, make more mutants, start a war...."

Quatre started to cry, "Human life is so...so... precious..."

Trowa and Heero just glared at the couple.....

"Those sadistic mothafuckers..."  Trowa hissed.

Quatre stated, "Yeah.  We need to kick their butts, Big Brother!"

"I'll take the Chief..."  Heero growled.

Trowa nodded, "I'll take the Not-So-Giant..."

"I'll take what's left!"  Quatre added.

Sally and Wufei looked at the other three and blinked, "Uh... Oh!"

Sensing that it was gonna get ugly, Relena quickly exited the scene, taking safety to the first car.  "Play nice boys." She concluded.

Both Trowa and Heero suddenly attacked Sally and Wufei. Quatre jumped into the brawl as well.

            "Uhm... I'll be at the controls...."  Duo announced.... being ignored yet again.

            **EPILOGUE-- Despite an almost derailed escape train...due to Duo's negligence... the sole survivors of Lemur City finally broke away from the Survival Horror. **

The Commissioner: Wufei Chang and his wife Police Chief Sally Po-Chang were pistol whipped and hog tied by Secret Agents Heero Yuy and Trowa Barton.  Helping them in the takedown was Lemur City's Junior League Softball player, Quatre R.Winner. The devious couple was later turned in to the proper authorities.... and pistol whipped some more.

As for Relena Peacecraft, she has decided to dedicate her life to a more worthy cause.....pursuing Heero.  Since she doesn't have to time to raise her young son, Quatre, Relena left him in custody with Trowa—TOTALLY killing his bachelor life.

Trowa doesn't know how THIS happened, but he's dealing with it.... one nanosecond at a time. 

Since Trowa is stuck with permanent babysitting duty, Duo has been chosen to take his place as a secret agent.  He's even been partnered with Heero...

Duo hasn't been seen since.... though he keeps in touch with Hilde, the secret agent life is a... uhh...secret one.... especially when you're set up with Heero.....  who's  avoiding Relena at all costs.

Despite the slightly marred happy endings for the survivors—The Parasol Corporation is STILL up to their dirty deeds.  However, they WILL hesitate to make drastic moves with the survivors roaming about.  With Zechs, Wufei, and Sally bumped out of the way, the evil corporation is going to have to come up with someone or SOMETHING that can handle all opposition...

The question is: Will the Survivors of Lemur City be prepared for the next Zombie Encounter?

**The End?**


End file.
